Bloom

The leaves may be falling off the trees in some parts of the country, but in my backyard … pink, yellow and purple bougainvilleas are bursting with color.

Why? It’s time to bloom again. It’s the season. The purple stays in bloom year round, the pink is in bloom most of the time, and the yellow a little less than the pink.

But they all bloom. They are planted, growing, stimulated by dryness and in it’s season … they bloom.

A good legacy will bloom …. Don’t hurry it, just be faithful. Your kids and those you are influencing will remember … so leave a good legacy.

Don’t compare yourself to the purple one … hang in there and don’t let dryness or being in a wilderness discourage you. You will bloom.

Leave a good legacy

Do I Help?

How much help do I give them? Parents, friends and bosses face this dilemma often.

Saturday morning group rides (bicycle/tri-bike) have a lot of drafting. A strong rider is in the front facing the head winds and the pack is behind staying in a “draft” with little resistance from the wind. Usually, everyone takes a turn pulling – leading the pack.

Weaker riders spend most of their time in the pack being carried by the stronger ones.

In a triathlon (swimming, biking, running) no drafting is allowed on the bike portion. It is all up to you.

And there’s the tension. Sometimes you need help and sometimes it is up to you…and sometimes you help them and sometimes you don’t.

The tension of “bearing another’s burden” and “carrying your own load” is reflected in the Bible as well (Galatians 6).

So what do you do? Well, it depends ……. I guess you will figure this one out by yourself … but at least you are on the bike and moving.

Sometimes it is fun just being a part of the group and doing more together and sometimes you need to run your race. Regardless – Ride!

Leave a good legacy.

Leaving a Wake

Boats leave wakes. Water fans out from the rear of a moving boat creating a ridge on both sides. Directly behind the boat the water is flat.

Years ago me and my sons would took our boat, a 16ft Semi-V Carolina Skiff with a 40 horsepower motor, out into the Atlantic Ocean. The biggest challenge going into the ocean was getting through the Palm Beach Inlet. All inlets are dangerous, especially for a small boat. Our strategy was to wait for a larger boat to go ahead of us then we would settle behind them in their wake and go out through the inlet. We would follow them into the ocean.

The bigger boat would cut through the choppy waters and provide some protection from boats coming into the inlet from the opposite direction. Sometimes an incoming boat would produce a dangerous cross wake and we would turn into it to keep from taking on water.

The boat we would follow often did not know we were behind them in their wake. They were focusing on passing through the inlet safely too.

We only needed to follow them for 800 yards … just enough to pass through danger safely. We only needed calm waters for 60 seconds or less and we would safely move forward through the inlet.

Did you know that you are leaving a wake. Your family and friends benefit from the path you set over rough waters.

The wake of your life is carrying people you do not even know. It will be brief, but it will be essential to their safe passage. Lead well and influence the next generation by leaving a good wake.

Leave a good wake. It is your legacy.

When the Wheel Comes Off

Last night I was riding on the back of a golf cart. As we rounded a corner the right rear wheel fell off, the cart tilted, and the axle put a grove in the pavement. We were in shock. Unharmed, we slowed to the side of the road.

The wheel had four bolts and they were scattered along the road. It was dark and the neighborhood was quiet. Somehow my son found the bolts. It had happened before and he knew where to look. I was went looking for the wheel, but when it came off, it kept rolling ahead of us into a neighbor’s flower bed.

Sometimes when our plans go bad we just find the bolts and put the pieces back together. The road may be scarred but it still works. I’m a big believer in the value of failing and taking risks around the corner.

But sometimes poor decisions have a bigger cost. Sometimes the consequences roll ahead of us and impact the future. This isn’t about mitigating risk, this has more to do with our character and integrity.

Leave a good legacy.

Noticed

Do you ever wonder if anyone notices you and the work you do?

I was part of a Fall Festival with games and food for families on Saturday. Many volunteers and staff worked hard. We were proud of our service and everyone enjoyed the event.

The next day, after church, someone gave me a note. It said, “… your behind the scenes works are such a great part … I just wanted to let you know how much you are appreciated.”

During my normal work I am noticed and encouraged. My tank is usually full. It is a great workplace.

Yet, we all wonder… does anyone know what I do? The note. It felt good and now sits on my home desk. It’s just a reminder… we are noticed.

You may not receive a note, but you are noticed.

You are leaving a legacy … leave a good legacy.

PS. Write someone a note … it may be the only encouragement they receive.

Talk it Out

Facing decisions can be confusing. Welcome to the club. What can you do?

Talking with a trusted friend or confidant allows you to express what you are thinking, feeling and wondering about for your life. Just saying things out loud helps bring clarity to your thoughts.

Give someone a call for coffee (or tea) and tell them you need someone to help bring clarity to what is swirling around in your head.

As individualistic as I am, the few that I bounce off what I am thinking help me move forward. They don’t give me answers, they simply help me have a better perspective.

Talk it out and leave a good legacy.

Don’t Compare Run Your Race

Comparison is dangerous.

Last weekend I went to a triathlon event with multiple races. I watched. Some took all day and others were less than an hour.

As participants finished a short race I noticed … tall, short, stout, skinny, young, old, moms and dads, some striving hard and others just surviving. A few had artificial limbs, most didn’t know anybody except for a friend or family member.

They just ran their race and they finished. Each one had their reason for running. If they had tried to copy someone else they would have been miserable and failed.

With over 500 participants I’m sure a few were disappointed in their outcome, but most have started telling the story of a completed race.

I can image the Monday morning stories of big waves and oppressive heat and the challenges they faced … but they lived to tell the story.

Leave a good legacy … run your race.

Roll Uphill

My friend had a Honda QA50 mini- bike. It was cool. I had a mini-bike, but it was an off brand … cheaper bike. I was thankful for it, though our neighbors were not.

His bike was faster on a flat surface and going downhill. He always beat me in a race … except when we raced uphill.

I don’t know why my bike went faster uphill than downhill, but it doesn’t matter. It seems like it’s a metaphor for my life. Persevere and keeping moving forward when life is uphill.

Roll Uphill

Leave a good legacy

Say Something

Many people are hesitant about speaking up and saying what they really think. If you are introverted and shy your default is to not speak up. There are many fears behind this, but ultimately you don’t want a negative reaction.

Yesterday, I spoke up two times. I had been thinking through strategies and solutions for each situation and the opportunity to say something unexpectedly presented itself ….. and I spoke up.

Both were well received and I acknowledge God’s timing, but a significant part was an ongoing preparation and pursuing of an outcome. I was confident in the process regardless of the response.

Be prepared about what is important to you …. And then respond when the timing seems right. Regardless of the outcome, keep moving forward.

Leave a good legacy.

Daily Reminders

Being overloaded with information is a common danger most people face.

I recently had a conversation with a long-time friend. We went to school before computers and the internet. Typing with whiteout – look it up. We talked about how we searched hard for information – library, radio, actually go hear someone speak … that is if you could find out where they were speaking.

I don’t miss those days, but I have to be intentional on how I control the information overload that comes my way … or else I will not remember the few things that are really important to me. Here’s a simple way I remember the important things.

Every morning I look at 5 note cards. They sometimes change, but they are reminders of my identity, my values and my purpose. One of the sayings is, “My life has authority from the autonomous monotony of the daily disciples of life.” It is the power of the daily ordinary.

This keeps me grounded. Every single day I am reminded of who I am and what I believe/value and what I am pursuing.

Leaving a good legacy … one day at a time.

Solve a Problem

Notice the black tire marks. The guy in the picture had wheels a few inches wider than his truck frame. He slightly swerved and put a big circle on the door while driving down the highway.

Hey mister – I’m sorry … big tires just pulled your way. Me – I’m just glad it wasn’t worse. Hey mister – what do you want to do … I can buff it out. Me – how long will it take? Him – 3 minutes. Me – well you can see my answer.

I-75 near Lake City car buff and wax. Solving a problem and rollin down the road.

As I felt the breeze of traffic zooming I shared with my new friend … God has a design for our lives …. Like a lane of traffic ….

In a few minutes I am back on the road. My friend seemed encouraged by our conversation …. And I am just thankful … so thankful it wasn’t worse.

Solving problems and working things out are part of leaving a good legacy.

Leave a good legacy.

Thankful

It is easy to find fault in others. There is a side of my family that is predisposed to being critical and judgmental. I can easily think and respond in those ways.

When I give the effort to be thankful … I am less critical. When I am thankful there is no room for judgment.

The older I get, the more I realize I only understood a part of the circumstances of my early years. My mom was a single parent from my mid teens. About 5 years ago the weight of her being single hit me. In all of my youthful gripes I had never realized how she provided a stable foundation for me to thrive.

In remembrance of my mom’s entrance into God’s presence, I am thankful.

I am thankful for the stable foundation my mom gave me to stand on … and so are her grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Leave a stable foundation for the next generation.

Leave a good legacy.

Keep Pursuing

Some want to be a Guru on the mountain top where pilgrims go to seek wisdom.

Instead of sitting on the mountain top, why not keep pursuing your dreams and mission. More will want to learn from you as you are doing and living ….. than by sitting there waiting for others to seek you out.

Keep moving forward. Keep pursuing.

Leave a good legacy.

One Decision

In 1958 my parents moved to Atlanta to pursue a dream. My dad was given an opportunity to advance his career. They moved away from family and friends for something that they thought was better.

Their decision to pursue something new gave me a path to run on that previously did not exist … and it has made all the difference.

A decision you make today can change the course of a generation. Leave a good legacy.

Make it Special

Your kids and grandkids will remember the “special” preparation to make something fun.

You can make things special, and it doesn’t cost much. My wife is the best.

Our table for a lunch yesterday had clippings from purple, red and golden bougainvilleas. It was beautiful.

Our grandkids loved a home made pistachio cake. They still talk about a scavenger hunt around our home just taking pictures with a phone.

The kids love looking at themselves in new photos printed monthly (just a few) on a bulletin board around my desk.

Simple, intention “things”, that little eyes remember. I hope for a lifetime.

Make it special and be present to enjoy it with them.

It is your legacy. Leave a good one.

Your Tone

What is the tone of your life….your parenting…your relationships?

During this week of Good Friday and Easter I am reading in the Bible. I noticed that the tone of Jesus was different from the religious leaders.

Jesus washed his followers feet, even the one who betrayed him. The greatest one in the room was a servant.

The religious leaders were angry and loud. They were trying to hold on to power and control. They were afraid of losing their authority.

So often we can find ourselves trying to lead others, and even our family, from power and fear instead of service.

Your family knows your tone….and they will remember it the rest of their lives. Make sure it is a tone of serving them.

It is your legacy. Leave a good one.

Write It Down

It is your life. It is your story. It is your legacy. Write it down.

Not everyone likes to write or writes well. Yet, when a story is written down, there is a lingering power of influence.

Either write your stories or have someone else write them. I have family photos, WWII photos and a few stories shared over the years from my family regarding my dad. However, the stories written by others provide the most lasting memories of the few short years I spent with him.

The month my dad died the company he worked for printed a story in their monthly newsletter. The article described his struggle with cancer while still working a full day and serving civic and charitable causes.

When he was asked why he kept so busy … he said, “ …. helping others, keeps me alive.”

I have forgotten most words spoken about my dad, but at least once a year I look at a folded newsletter in my sock drawer. It reminds me of his life of service.

His life, his story, his legacy has become my life of service and my story and now my legacy…..because it was written down.

Write it down.

Persist

Persistence, perseverance and endurance are key character qualities to model. As you tell stories of when you endured difficult circumstances, also include stories that may not be so serious. Here’s one of mine.

I learned a lot about persistence the day I shot my future son-in-law.

Fishing is not the only thing we do at my uncle’s farm. Many hours have been spent on the back porch reading, napping and “visiting”. From the porch you can see both ponds, two old country barns, shade trees and a clothesline hooked between two posts.


One day our family gathered on the screened porch when suddenly we became aware of an unidentifiable movement. I’m not sure who saw it first, but a long snake had slithered through the azaleas and it’s head reared up and pressed his face up against the screen. It was eye level with the occupants on the love seat. You can only imagine the hysteria that took place. We found high ground quickly standing on the furniture. We were screaming even though a steel screen protected us.


Most logic had evaporated from the educated brain pool on the porch, so I “brave the wild” with the only weapon that I could find… my handy dandy, low-powered BB gun. It was about time to graduate it from shooting cans off the fence post. With a carton of BBs in hand, I loaded twenty BBs and commenced firing… this was it…time to save the family.


The snake had wound its way through the thick azaleas so there was no way for me to determine my effectiveness or to see the entire snake. Load and shoot. Only half of the shots were getting anywhere near the snake’s head. As I reloaded and continued firing, those on the porch began screaming and dancing uncontrollably. Then I heard, “Dad! Stop! You just shot (name withheld – a future son-in-law)”. Apparently a couple of shots had hit the brick wall behind the azaleas and ricocheted through the screen hitting him in the calf. A complete circus of craziness echoed through the country.

I repositioned my aim away from my son-in-law and continued the assault. It took endless rounds before the feat was accomplished. Dragging the snake out with a rake revealed that he was over 6 feet.

The force of the BB was not strong enough to penetrate the skin, but it was strong enough to give the snake a bad headache. Small actions, done consistently, will be productive over time.

All participants survived and now live to tell the story of the day I shot one of my son-in-laws, instead of my story of persistence.

It is your life. It is your story. It is your legacy.

Persist.

A Legacy of Pancakes

Playing, joking and doing stupid tricks are all part of leaving a legacy.

Do you have fun with your kids or grandkids? Regardless of who you are or where you are from, your kids will remember the crazy things you do together. Smiling, laughing and sometimes breaking things create stories that will be told at dinner tables for years.

My wife and I will have some of the grandkids over tonight. Their only request is to make pancakes and flip them over our shoulders to a plate 10 feet away. Last time it was pure craziest. They talked about it for weeks.

If we keep this up, this will be part our our legacy. – Moma and Papa know how to have fun.

It is your legacy. Have some fun!

It Is Your Legacy – Write It

You are going to leave a legacy. Intentionally telling your stories will build and guide it.

I don’t know if this is a true quote. It is probably adapted. Someone once quoted Winston Churchill as saying, “History will be kind to me, because I intend to write it.” There is a key principle. Whoever writes history controls the discussion.

We are not writing history, but we are gathering memorable events, people and happenings that the entire family knows. We are talking about everyday life. We are building our legacy.

Ask your kids to name one or two of the funniest, biggest, most dramatic, craziest etc. things that you have experienced as a family. Find a noble theme that describes what happened like courage or persistence. Or find a weird slogan that brings back the laughter, “don’t give grandma prunes for Thanksgiving dinner.” Then tell it often. They will remember.

It is your legacy and you intend to write it.

Let it Go

Not all sentimental possessions make good stories.

My family had a lawnmower that dated back to the 1940s. It was a push mower and required physical strength to turn the blades. I remember pushing it 50 years ago. It was terrible.

Yet, I kept it. It was sentimental but not practical. One of my kids wanted to use it where they lived. It did not work well and it was not fixable. When asked if I still wanted it I said, “let it go.” There was not a story attached to the mower.

In leaving a legacy, the goal is not a sentimental journey, but a compelling story that encourages the next generation to live today.

A few boxes hold my sentimental stuff and my kids usually politely yawn. I like that.

It is your legacy. Give your kids compelling stories.

Suffering

The bigger your adventure the more hardship and suffering you will face. There is always a cost.

After completing The Great Floridian Triathlon the muscles in my legs were in knots and my feet were in shock. In preparing for the marathon I did not train by walking. Thus, my feet were soft from only swimming and biking. I paid for it.

When my wife and I arrived at the hotel I collapsed on the bed. She removed my shoes and over the next 45 minutes used a warm wash cloth to remove my blood soaked socks that had embedded in my feet. It was bad. I hobbled for days.

Yet, it was worth it. I left a new story in the legacy that I am leaving to my family – Finish Well!

Pursuing anything – an adventure, a relationship or a new career will include hardship and suffering. You will probably not physically bleed, but you will pay a price.

It is your legacy.

Tell your story and include the bloody socks. They will never forget what you went through in pursuing your dream.

Finish Well

I woke up on October 20th, in Clermont, Florida ready for the day. I ate breakfast, shaved and brushed my teeth, and then out of nowhere I became emotional. I couldn’t believe I actually had an opportunity to pursue this dream. I had also been reflecting.

When my father was 54 years old, he died of cancer and I remembered the hands of those who wanted to simply touch his casket at the funeral. Now, at 54, my wife, two daughters and their husbands, and my two sons are about to watch me live to the fullest: their hands and voices cheering me on to completion. When you add the fact that just two years earlier I had a cancerous prostate removed, I was about to embark on a significant achievement for my family and me.

One of my goals as a father has been to influence the lives of my children so that they will have the greatest success. I was flooded with emotion as I realized that I was about to give each of them a lasting memory of what it means to finish well. This was going to be a great day … or two.

My gear was prepared for transition. My wetsuit was on. Although in comparison to the others, my bike looked like an uninvited guest at a black tie event, but it didn’t matter. I was at the party, and it was time to dance. I’ve got this!

The swim started, and I am already in big trouble. Within the first five minutes all my confidence waned as a 20 mph head wind made the lake rough for the swim. I also did not plan on the Adrenalin rush. My heart raced. Before I could reach the first buoy I flipped on my back to catch my breath and slow my heart. Suddenly, I see someone on a surf board come over and say, “Hey sir, are you ok?” For a brief moment I wondered if they would have to pull me out of the water. If that happened, I’d be back home in South Florida before lunch and I would never know if I had what it took to finish.

I finally calmed down as I remembered the song, “Be Still and Know That I Am God”. Just stroke and breathe…stroke and breathe. Making headway, but constantly off course, I finished the first lap in 55 minutes, but I was behind my self-imposed schedule. At the turnaround one of my son-in-laws said I should get the award for walking the furthest into the water before I started the second lap.

I felt calmer this time around. As I made the final turn to head back to shore, the waves really started rocking, the sun came out from under the clouds, and I became seasick (as in treading water and vomiting). I didn’t know that was even possible while you swam! If it weren’t for the help of wearing a wetsuit I would still be swimming. One hour and fifty-five minutes. I finished part one. I was still in the race and I was exhausted. I’ve got this.

As I changed into my bike gear, I found some comfort in the changing area.  There were six other men in transition.  I’m not last… yet. The bike portion began well.  I was hydrating and eating the planned food and the aide stations were well stocked with friendly volunteers.  The strategy worked and the bike performed well.  Except for a brief moment when my chain got stuck, everything went smoothly.  My shoes released easily from the pedals.  I still walked up that big hill, yet I saved a lot of energy.  No flats. A great ride, even though each lap took longer than the last.  I even received encouragement from an unexpected source.  As the leaders passed me on the second lap they each told me to keep working hard, I will make it.

After I finished lap two, 75 miles now completed, I began riding the final 38 miles. This was further than I have ever ridden. I was in the final frontier. When I finally would make it to the top of a hill, I had just enough energy to hang on downhill in low gear so I could grind out another hill. There were numerous times when my legs were on the verge of cramping, “Pain is just weakness leaving the body” resounded in my mind. The bike finish cut-off time was 6:30 p.m. and I was in at 5:57 p.m. Time to spare.

As I came into the bike finish, in front of family and many onlookers, I released my left shoe from the pedal with no problem, but the shoe stuck in the rear spokes and before I could plan an escape I was down. My family was screaming, onlookers gasped and I felt like a fool. I got up quickly with nothing bruised but my ego, and one hundred feet later I crossed the bike finish line. I had trained well and I was on target. All I have to do is walk 26.2 miles. No problem! I’ve got this now!

My walk started while it was still daylight. I was focused and determined, and I began with a surprisingly fast walking pace. Other runners were still on the course so at least I had company. The course was three laps on a very wide walking trail, with about a 3/4 mile steep hill per lap. A large part of the course ran next to Lake Minneola and was lined with antique style streetlights. My first lap took 2 hours and 4 minutes, a decent pace. I was on target. I mostly walked with the occasional trot. I felt confident as I approached the second lap.

After about a mile, I realized my legs and feet were not happy. My quadriceps were in knots and they were on the verge of cramping. My feet were bruised and blisters had developed over half of both feet. I was in big trouble. After a few more miles the trotting stopped, and all I have left is a much slower paced walk. It was after 11:00 p.m. when I started lap three. Nine miles to go. Keep standing. Walk forward. Don’t stop. On the last lap there are only a few of us left. Some can still trot and they pass me. A few call it a night and abandon the last lap. They don’t finish. The men of my family joined me. There will be no competive advantage for me; I’m at the end of the line. They simply provided encouragement and safety on an isolated journey.

The aide stations had been unmanned for the last hour. It’s just me and Peter who passes me early and Henry who passes me late. The officials from Sommer Sports sent a golf cart out to determine if we truly are the last participants. They told me they would be waiting. I’m close.

There was no short run of victory through the finish line, only a slow, deliberate and measured walk. The grass was unsteady under my feet. And just like the first place finisher, the finish line banner was stretched out and waited for me. Cheers, cameras, smiles and hugs poured in from my family, and the 5 officials who remained. No one else was there. Sommer Sports gave me a GFT Finisher T-Shirt and a medal, “Stronger than Iron”. I had finished.

After 18 hours and 46 minutes and 10 seconds at 2:16:10 a.m. on October 21, 2012, the day after I began, I realized a dream. I had completed an Ultra Distance Triathlon (140.6 total miles). I finished!

I have attended sporting events for all four of our children and now our grandchildren. The goal has always been to finish strong and to finish well, but no matter what….finish. Perseverance is a character quality everyone should have.

Don’t just tell your kids to persevere, live a story that requires perseverance. They will never forget.

It is your legacy. Finish!

Keith Albert # 7 2012 Great Floridian Triathlon

Finisher 18:46:10

Why?

What do you want to leave your kids and their kids? Is it stuff? Is it medals and t-shirts? Or is there something else you want to leave as your legacy. Why are you really doing this? That’s a good question.

Sometimes there are deeper things going on beneath the surface. This was more than a race for me. I was making a statement.

I woke up on October 20th, in Clermont, Florida ready for the day. I ate breakfast, shaved and brushed my teeth, and then out of nowhere I became emotional. I couldn’t believe I actually had an opportunity to pursue this dream.

I had been reflecting. When my father was 54 years old, he died of cancer and I remembered the hands of those who wanted to simply touch his casket at the funeral. Now, at 54, my wife, two daughters and their husbands, and my two sons are about to watch me live to the fullest: their hands and voices cheering me on to completion. When you add the fact that just two years earlier I had a cancerous prostate removed, I was about to embark on a significant achievement for my family and me.

One of my goals as a father has been to influence the lives of my children so that they will have the greatest success. I was flooded with emotion as I realized that I was about to give each of them a lasting memory of what it means to finish well. This was going to be a great day … or two.

My gear was prepared for transition. My wetsuit was on. Although in comparison to the others, my bike looked like an uninvited guest…it didn’t matter. I was at the party, and it was time to dance. I’ve got this!

Your legacy includes more than the things you do. Include the personal motivations that are deep in your soul. Make statements with the things you do and say.

It is your legacy. Let them know why?

(This is part 8 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

I’m in Big Trouble

Do you ever have setbacks? I’m not talking about a bump in the road. I’m talking about your breath is knocked out of you, and your stomach tightens and all you think is I have wasted so much time pursuing something that will not work.

I thought my attempt at the race was over. Here’s what happened.

Two weekends prior to the race I made another smart decision. I went to the actual race site in Clermont to ride the bike course. It was a 38.6 mile loop that had a slight variation after the first lap. I had decided I would do two laps, about 75 miles, which would be the longest ride of my life. I was loaded with Gatorade, water, Gu (energy food), a few other snacks, and off I went. I figured it would take 5 hours.

It took 6 1/2 hours!

At mile 22 I had to walk a big hill and my shoes would not release from the pedal clips. I fell, my chain came off, my cyclometer (measures speed and distance) stopped working, and a semi almost made me into a hood ornament. Plus, I had road rash. At the top of one hill, after straining so hard to time a red light, both of my legs and my feet cramped so badly that I had to hang onto a guardrail, feet still clipped in, so I wouldn’t crash down the hill. I am sure I was an interesting sight for the school children on the bus waiting at the light; a 6’1″, 198 lb man, with an ill-fitting helmet, hanging onto a guardrail, with a bike dangling beneath him.

It took five minutes for my legs to relax as I eventually pulled my feet out of the shoes. After ten minutes, I finally resumed the journey only to get a flat as I passed through the light.

With only a few miles to go, I decided to ride in to the finish. I didn’t care! It wasn’t my bike! As I descended another hill I discovered that you can’t steer a front flat tire very well and I was picking up speed. Since the front tire was flat, the breaks no longer aligned with the rim of the tire. Therefore, no breaks on the front and the back brakes weren’t slowing me down. All I can say is, “God’ s grace is sufficient”.

75 miles… 6 1/2 hours… I was a disaster. I was in big trouble!

I finally made it back to the car. The only thing on my mind was that I am in big trouble. There’s no way I’ll finish the race.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced being in a hopeless situation.

My friend fixed the bike and even improved the gears. My tribe encouraged me to keep going and I bought another cyclometer.

It took a few days to clear my head and come to this conclusion … If I am going to fail, I am going to fail trying. This was my shot!

Your kids will love to hear when you were crushed and either almost failed or failed. They will see that you pursued your dream.

I didn’t know if I would finish the race, but I was going to find out! We all were going to find out.

It is your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is part 7 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Who are your Guides?

Who are your guides? You need one so that you can fulfill your dream. They are part of your legacy.

A friend, a spouse, a mentor, a book, a blog or videos are all part of being a guide. They instruct and encourage. They walk with us. They help pick us up when we stumble.

Tim, a friend of mine, let me borrow one of his bikes. He prepared an old style twelve-speed Olmo bike. The bike was painted and tuned up. I bought cycling shoes and some accessories. I am ready.

The first thing I noticed when I rode was the resistance and noise caused by the wind. It was loud compared to the quiet air-conditioned gym. Anyway, it was summer and now my weekend rides were outside.

I had several guides. The spin instructor, my friend, a book on triathlons and my wife’s encouragement. They provided everything I needed.

Sometimes we search out guides and sometimes the guide finds us. Regardless, you will need them. We need what they have experienced. We need the encouragement. And don’t forget to show your appreciation.

It is your legacy. When you tell your stories to the next generation, include your guides. You can’t do it with out them.

(This is part 6 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Your Plan Needs Action

When you set out on an adventure you are leaving a legacy. It is your legacy. Don’t just talk about what you want to do. Do something. Your plan needs action. I was 54 years old and probably living a mid-life crisis. Regardless, I was going for something, even if I fail.

Preparation for the triathlon lasted 32 weeks. Laps and intervals at the community pool went from 400 meters (16 laps) to 4000 meters (160 laps). Often counting the laps was the hardest part. Toward the end of training I would be in the pool for two hours, twice a week. At least I was confident I could swim 2.4 miles without stopping. Surely, a swim around a lake would be the same as a pool. I’ve got this.

The first 12 weeks of training on the bike took place in spin class with a long ride on a stationary bike on the weekend. True cyclists kept saying, “You need to get outside,” and I replied, “Buy me a bike and I will.” Finally, I borrow a bike from a friend. By the end of training my weekend ride reaches 65 miles outside.

On a couple of weekends I combine the swim with a bike ride. I calculated my times to complete each phase and I think I can make it. Anyway, that’s all the time and energy I have to prepare. I’ll keep my heart rate in a good range. All I have to do is survive and finish… and say thank you for the t-shirt.

Let your kids know what you went through to pursue your dreams. Tell them of your preparation and actions and sacrifices.

It is your legacy. Tell it.

(This is part 5 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

A Crazy Plan

Your kids and grandkids love the details of how you pursue your dreams and adventures, even if they are crazy.

March 2012 – If I could swim 2.4 miles without drowning in open water, and if I could ride a bike 112 miles, then surely I can walk 26.2 miles to finish. That’s all I want to do is simply finish and get the t-shirt.

After telling my wife, the first thing I did was to go to the community pool. If I can’t swim, then the dream is crushed again, but it’s worth a try. Drowning is not an option. I researched swim training. I’m slow – real slow. But, I make progress.

The biggest decision was which triathlon to attempt. I settled on a race called the The Great Floridian in Clermont, Florida. It was only a few hours away from home, but most importantly, the results from the previous years included the times and names of those who finished after the ending time of 1:00 a.m. This meant that if I didn’t finish by the race’s official cut off time, they would still “keep the lights on”. This proved to be my best decision.

The Great Floridian – October 2012 – Paid the Registration. Let’s go!

Tell the details of your big adventure. Let your kids know how you planned or researched something that was important to you. The details make the story come alive.

Pay the registration.

It is your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is Part 4 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Welcome to Spin Class

February 2012

I was instructed on spin bike basics, the music cranked up, we stretched, we pedaled and by the time the class was over, I thought I was going to die! I was dripping with sweat and my water bottle was long depleted yet, I was energized. Sitting, standing, climbing, tension on then off the wheel, heart rate up, heart rate down (sort of) was the routine.

The instructor would call out, “Mind, body, bike!” and “Pain is weakness leaving the body!” The clarity and brevity in his words, seasoned with encouragement and challenge, allowed the focus of the class to be on one’s own personal development. He would say, “This is your workout.”

I came back to the next spin class and then the next. Amazingly, my knees had no pain and my legs felt like they were stronger. I’m loving spin class!

One day the class was working hard and the instructor tells a motivational story of how he completed the Ironman in Hawaii. What? It’s been 22 years since I thought of that race, but for the remainder of the class it was all I thought about. The Ironman.

I go home. It’s March. I have a crazy idea. If I can swim, then bike, I’ll just walk the rest of the way.

Some dreams never die they are just delayed.

Give your children and grandchildren a window into one of your adventures. They want a piece of your life. They want to know what you were thinking and how you are shaped. They want to know the wins and the losses. And usually, the times you crashed and everything went wrong are the stories and the lessons that are most remembered.

Your legacy matters. Tell your stories.

(This is Part 3 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

A New Journey

First child married. Second child married. Third child in college. Fourth child in High School.

Gained weight – lost weight quickly. Gained weight – lost weight over a long period of time. As you get older the fork outruns your sneakers.

Gained weight again and now back to the gym. I’m bored with my routine and I don’t want to do this. My friend said, “Why don’t you join me in a spin class?” I thought he was crazy. He suggested an early 6:00 am class. I took the bait. I’ll go for one week.

Humpty Dumpty can’t put your crushed cheerios back together again, but you can buy a new box. And a new journey began.

A lot happened over 22 years. Those stories will have to wait.

Have you ever started something new? Tell the story of starting a new season, a new chapter, a new adventure. If you don’t, no one will.

It’s your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is Part 2 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Dreams Crushed

The next few posts tell the story of attempting and endurance triathlon.

In 1989 I watched the Ironman World Championship on television. I had never heard of the race. It was spell-bounding. Just watching the average man and woman competing in a race, fighting to just finish was compelling. Their stories of inspiration came in different sizes, ages and abilities. They were so dramatic that I was in tears cheering for them to make it to the finish line. And for those who just missed it, I ached. Winners – who cares, I want to see who finished the race. When they crossed the finish line, I feel like I crossed the line with them.

An Ironman is a triathlon that consists of a 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a 26.2 mile run (a marathon). 140.6 miles. The final cut off time is usually 17 hours later.

I was inspired! This was the beginning of my attempt to compete in an Ironman. I signed up for shorter sprint triathlons and had a plan to progress. And then as many of you have experienced, life gets in the way of our dreams.

Two painful knees stopped the running and then child number three and four came along and changed my priorities. The dream vanished ….crushed like cheerios in a minivan.

And then it was over ….

Tell the stories of dreams that are crushed. There is always more to the story. It’s your legacy.

A New Story – Sail On

Are you struggling to take a new direction in your life this year? Many are making plans for new habits. I am.

A few years ago I learned a valuable lesson in making changes at my sister-in-law’s wedding.

The wedding took place on New Year’s Eve in a small community on the Gulf of Mexico and the reception took place on the beach. Late in the evening we were circled around a bonfire celebrating not only the marriage, but also the new year. It was so much fun.

I turned away from the group and walked toward the shore. The water was calm, like glass, and moon beams reflected brightly. And in the sky … the stars were packed tightly burning brightly across the heavens.

That’s when I felt the urge to sail toward the horizon … straight into the moon. What an adventure that would be!

I had a decision to make. If I took sail, I would leave the comforting fires of the familiar to chase something new.

Sail On! … and leave the comfort of the familiar. Then tell your children and their children the stories of your adventure.

Leave a lasting legacy one story at a time.

Sail On!

Practice Your Stories

Practice telling your stories. If you want to tell a story that people remember…..practice.

When I speak to others there is a general pathway that my stories take. I tell the basic facts or thought, but afterwards, I usually say to myself….”you could have told that story better”.

Last week I practiced a story. Instead of listening to a podcast or music, I repeated a story out loud while driving to the office. The key words were changed, an appropriate pause was included, and the timing was adjusted.

I gave a brief report in front of 75 people. I began with a family celebration that included one picture. I then said, “What could be better …. (Pause) … completing your open health enrollment and performance review by Friday.” Everyone laughed….then a few more laughed once they understood the line. Then I said slowly, “With open enrollment …… you keep your health benefits ….. and with performance reviews you keep ……. (Most said out loud- your job, but I continued)… the process going to help your supervisor complete their part of the review.”

Everyone laughed hard and the point was made.

I found out that one of the major staff Christmas parties replayed my brief comments (2 minutes).

Why was it effective? I practiced …. I spoke clearly and simply …. I also had an appropriate pause.

Leave your legacy one practice story at a time.

Mug or Cup?

Do you want a cup or a mug?

That was the question I often heard when ‘company’ came to our home. That’s another name for friends or family. When company came over the carpet was vacuumed with those triangle designs and coffee was made.

We just put out our Christmas mugs, but I like to reach in the back of the cabinet for a cup. I think they hold the heat better, but there may be another reason I like them.

This morning I used the first cup of the season. As I held it for one last sip, there was no coffee left, but there were the few drops swishing around the bottom. That’s when I thought of my mom.

Growing up, every time I saw a coffee cup it had those few drops at the bottom and there was red lipstick slightly smeared on the edge of the cup. Mom’s trademark.

Your kids or grandkids know your habits and the marks you leave. Make good marks. Have good habits. Tell good stories. Do new things. Still pursue dreams.

You are leaving a legacy a few drops at a time.

Just Great

Every story I share is from my family, except today.

Yesterday I asked a friend of mine, “How was your Thanksgiving?” (I knew he was out of town seeing his family.) He looks at one of his sons and says, “How was it?” The son said, “ It was great.” Though it appeared to be sarcastic.

I say, “No, really, how was Thanksgiving?”

My friend says, “My wife cried the whole time, my mom cried the whole time, my father threw up on his plate at Thanksgiving, my car window would not roll up so we took the smaller car with 5 people packed in ….. (plus more personal things)…. our Thanksgiving was great….just great.” And the son says again, “yea, great… it was just great.”

Some things are really hard, but they are part of our story and we get to tell them to the next generation.”

Keep telling stories.

Leave your legacy one great story at a time.

Celebrate

Everyone likes to be fussed over. Everyone likes to be celebrated.

We have a family milestone today and three generations will gather to celebrate. We are making this a big deal.

The event and celebration will not cost anything, except for a quick meal afterwards. But the biggest cost will be our presence and enthusiastic cheering. Each of our family sees this as a priority.

Our family tries to celebrate the “wins” and milestones of each other.

Leaving our legacy one celebration at a time.

Renew a Relationship

It is never too late to renew a relationship with your parents.

You will have to take the initiative. Tell a fond memory, ask for forgiveness, tell them you forgive them, but most of all make the effort to connect.

Telling a story will carry the truth, especially the hard truth, that you want to say.

Holding a clinched fist, and the tension it brings, will begin to be released when you make the effort to connect.

Free yourself and tell a new story.

Leaving a legacy for the next generation.

Wearing a Tie

On most days I wear dark jeans and a button down shirt that is untucked. That’s my style. I’m not trying to dress young, but I am trying hard to not dress old.

At my desk at home, a converted closet, I have one picture with my mom and one picture with my dad.

In both of the pictures I am wearing a tie. I’ve never noticed that until today. The one with my dad was taken when I was 8 at a photo booth in an airport. Four small pictures on top of each other.

The photo with my mom was taken 20 years ago, outside by purple bougainvilleas.

You will probably have to get married or die for me to wear a tie, though anniversary dinners are included.

And each time I wear a tie I am reminded that I like it, not because it is right or wrong but it is part of our story.

“Honey, put on your redress, we’re going out tonight!”

Leaving your legacy for the next generation.

Two Packs

How do you help others know the healthy changes that your parents have made over the years?

I was visiting some relatives and asked them what they remembered about my mom. They remembered that she smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. I informed them that my mom had given up smoking 35 years ago and that her lungs were clear.

Here’s the point. Unless I told a new story, they would still think she was an active smoker. I had to take the initiative in telling a new story about my mom. Her legacy included making changes in her life for the good.

Helping our parents leave their legacy one story at a time.

One Blade of Grass at a Time

Azaleas and dogwoods graced the landscape of my childhood homes. In the spring time the colors were breathtaking.

One of my regular chores as a teenager was weeding the flower beds. I learned how to get the roots out and always felt pride when the job was done.

When I became a homeowner I tried to keep up the tradition. And …like my mom … I have made our kids take their turn with the lawnmower and edger.

When one of my sons moved into his first home, one of the first things he bought was a lawnmower. “Dad, I just love the smell of fresh cut grass.”

Leaving a legacy for the next generation … one blade of grass at a time.

Pecans

When I eat roasted pecans, lightly coated in butter and salt, I think of my mom.

During the holidays she would make them for me. I make them now and I think of mom.

My kids and grandkids think the pecans are the best thing they have ever eaten. And then I tell them how mom made them.

Leaving a legacy … one pecan at a time.

Sports and Conversation

There is great value in kids playing sports. There are life lessons regarding preparation, practicing, perseverance, winning and losing.

But there is something else. Sports are an opportunity to connect with your child. You get to be part of their adventure.

Conversations in the car, going to a game and coming home from a game, are your chance for conversation, storytelling and encouragement.

Over time they will remember your words of encouragement, but they will definitely remember that you were there….. and had a chocolate shake on the way home.

You are always Interviewing

‘You are always interviewing’ and ‘Don’t burn any bridges’ have been a few sayings I would speak to my kids when they were younger.

Working hard and building relationships are character qualities for a healthy life. Speak these truths into your children, live them out in your life and tell your personal stories.

Then one day you will hear, “Hey dad, didn’t you always say……”

Speak truth, live it out and leave your legacy.

Conversations

More people are posting pictures of family and friends at Thanksgiving than their food. Why?

… Because our friends and family matter more than the same food everybody else is eating (in the USA) for the day.

The best part of the day for me is the conversations that happen after the meal. Words matter, especially over pecan and buttermilk pie.

Family stories leaving a legacy.

Thankful

We have been designed for community and relationships. When we gather with friends and family, under the banner of thanksgiving, those bonds are strengthened.

I look forward to one of those gatherings today.

Being thankful is best served every day.

Be thankful today. Be thankful tomorrow. Be thankful the next day.

Leave a legacy of thankfulness.