Month: December 2021

Practice Your Stories

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Practice telling your stories. If you want to tell a story that people remember…..practice.

When I speak to others there is a general pathway that my stories take. I tell the basic facts or thought, but afterwards, I usually say to myself….”you could have told that story better”.

Last week I practiced a story. Instead of listening to a podcast or music, I repeated a story out loud while driving to the office. The key words were changed, an appropriate pause was included, and the timing was adjusted.

I gave a brief report in front of 75 people. I began with a family celebration that included one picture. I then said, “What could be better …. (Pause) … completing your open health enrollment and performance review by Friday.” Everyone laughed….then a few more laughed once they understood the line. Then I said slowly, “With open enrollment …… you keep your health benefits ….. and with performance reviews you keep ……. (Most said out loud- your job, but I continued)… the process going to help your supervisor complete their part of the review.”

Everyone laughed hard and the point was made.

I found out that one of the major staff Christmas parties replayed my brief comments (2 minutes).

Why was it effective? I practiced …. I spoke clearly and simply …. I also had an appropriate pause.

Leave your legacy one practice story at a time.

Mug or Cup?

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Do you want a cup or a mug?

That was the question I often heard when ‘company’ came to our home. That’s another name for friends or family. When company came over the carpet was vacuumed with those triangle designs and coffee was made.

We just put out our Christmas mugs, but I like to reach in the back of the cabinet for a cup. I think they hold the heat better, but there may be another reason I like them.

This morning I used the first cup of the season. As I held it for one last sip, there was no coffee left, but there were the few drops swishing around the bottom. That’s when I thought of my mom.

Growing up, every time I saw a coffee cup it had those few drops at the bottom and there was red lipstick slightly smeared on the edge of the cup. Mom’s trademark.

Your kids or grandkids know your habits and the marks you leave. Make good marks. Have good habits. Tell good stories. Do new things. Still pursue dreams.

You are leaving a legacy a few drops at a time.

Just Great

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Every story I share is from my family, except today.

Yesterday I asked a friend of mine, “How was your Thanksgiving?” (I knew he was out of town seeing his family.) He looks at one of his sons and says, “How was it?” The son said, “ It was great.” Though it appeared to be sarcastic.

I say, “No, really, how was Thanksgiving?”

My friend says, “My wife cried the whole time, my mom cried the whole time, my father threw up on his plate at Thanksgiving, my car window would not roll up so we took the smaller car with 5 people packed in ….. (plus more personal things)…. our Thanksgiving was great….just great.” And the son says again, “yea, great… it was just great.”

Some things are really hard, but they are part of our story and we get to tell them to the next generation.”

Keep telling stories.

Leave your legacy one great story at a time.

Celebrate

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Everyone likes to be fussed over. Everyone likes to be celebrated.

We have a family milestone today and three generations will gather to celebrate. We are making this a big deal.

The event and celebration will not cost anything, except for a quick meal afterwards. But the biggest cost will be our presence and enthusiastic cheering. Each of our family sees this as a priority.

Our family tries to celebrate the “wins” and milestones of each other.

Leaving our legacy one celebration at a time.

Renew a Relationship

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It is never too late to renew a relationship with your parents.

You will have to take the initiative. Tell a fond memory, ask for forgiveness, tell them you forgive them, but most of all make the effort to connect.

Telling a story will carry the truth, especially the hard truth, that you want to say.

Holding a clinched fist, and the tension it brings, will begin to be released when you make the effort to connect.

Free yourself and tell a new story.

Leaving a legacy for the next generation.

Wearing a Tie

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On most days I wear dark jeans and a button down shirt that is untucked. That’s my style. I’m not trying to dress young, but I am trying hard to not dress old.

At my desk at home, a converted closet, I have one picture with my mom and one picture with my dad.

In both of the pictures I am wearing a tie. I’ve never noticed that until today. The one with my dad was taken when I was 8 at a photo booth in an airport. Four small pictures on top of each other.

The photo with my mom was taken 20 years ago, outside by purple bougainvilleas.

You will probably have to get married or die for me to wear a tie, though anniversary dinners are included.

And each time I wear a tie I am reminded that I like it, not because it is right or wrong but it is part of our story.

“Honey, put on your redress, we’re going out tonight!”

Leaving your legacy for the next generation.

Two Packs

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How do you help others know the healthy changes that your parents have made over the years?

I was visiting some relatives and asked them what they remembered about my mom. They remembered that she smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. I informed them that my mom had given up smoking 35 years ago and that her lungs were clear.

Here’s the point. Unless I told a new story, they would still think she was an active smoker. I had to take the initiative in telling a new story about my mom. Her legacy included making changes in her life for the good.

Helping our parents leave their legacy one story at a time.