Category: Parenting

A Legacy of Pancakes

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

Playing, joking and doing stupid tricks are all part of leaving a legacy.

Do you have fun with your kids or grandkids? Regardless of who you are or where you are from, your kids will remember the crazy things you do together. Smiling, laughing and sometimes breaking things create stories that will be told at dinner tables for years.

My wife and I will have some of the grandkids over tonight. Their only request is to make pancakes and flip them over our shoulders to a plate 10 feet away. Last time it was pure craziest. They talked about it for weeks.

If we keep this up, this will be part our our legacy. – Moma and Papa know how to have fun.

It is your legacy. Have some fun!

Mug or Cup?

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

Do you want a cup or a mug?

That was the question I often heard when ‘company’ came to our home. That’s another name for friends or family. When company came over the carpet was vacuumed with those triangle designs and coffee was made.

We just put out our Christmas mugs, but I like to reach in the back of the cabinet for a cup. I think they hold the heat better, but there may be another reason I like them.

This morning I used the first cup of the season. As I held it for one last sip, there was no coffee left, but there were the few drops swishing around the bottom. That’s when I thought of my mom.

Growing up, every time I saw a coffee cup it had those few drops at the bottom and there was red lipstick slightly smeared on the edge of the cup. Mom’s trademark.

Your kids or grandkids know your habits and the marks you leave. Make good marks. Have good habits. Tell good stories. Do new things. Still pursue dreams.

You are leaving a legacy a few drops at a time.

Celebrate

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

Everyone likes to be fussed over. Everyone likes to be celebrated.

We have a family milestone today and three generations will gather to celebrate. We are making this a big deal.

The event and celebration will not cost anything, except for a quick meal afterwards. But the biggest cost will be our presence and enthusiastic cheering. Each of our family sees this as a priority.

Our family tries to celebrate the “wins” and milestones of each other.

Leaving our legacy one celebration at a time.

Renew a Relationship

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

It is never too late to renew a relationship with your parents.

You will have to take the initiative. Tell a fond memory, ask for forgiveness, tell them you forgive them, but most of all make the effort to connect.

Telling a story will carry the truth, especially the hard truth, that you want to say.

Holding a clinched fist, and the tension it brings, will begin to be released when you make the effort to connect.

Free yourself and tell a new story.

Leaving a legacy for the next generation.

Two Packs

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

How do you help others know the healthy changes that your parents have made over the years?

I was visiting some relatives and asked them what they remembered about my mom. They remembered that she smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. I informed them that my mom had given up smoking 35 years ago and that her lungs were clear.

Here’s the point. Unless I told a new story, they would still think she was an active smoker. I had to take the initiative in telling a new story about my mom. Her legacy included making changes in her life for the good.

Helping our parents leave their legacy one story at a time.

One Blade of Grass at a Time

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

Azaleas and dogwoods graced the landscape of my childhood homes. In the spring time the colors were breathtaking.

One of my regular chores as a teenager was weeding the flower beds. I learned how to get the roots out and always felt pride when the job was done.

When I became a homeowner I tried to keep up the tradition. And …like my mom … I have made our kids take their turn with the lawnmower and edger.

When one of my sons moved into his first home, one of the first things he bought was a lawnmower. “Dad, I just love the smell of fresh cut grass.”

Leaving a legacy for the next generation … one blade of grass at a time.

Conversations

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

More people are posting pictures of family and friends at Thanksgiving than their food. Why?

… Because our friends and family matter more than the same food everybody else is eating (in the USA) for the day.

The best part of the day for me is the conversations that happen after the meal. Words matter, especially over pecan and buttermilk pie.

Family stories leaving a legacy.

The Dinner Game

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

Don’t assume your children can read your mind. Tell them what you think, believe and value.

If you are in a relationship you have played the dinner guessing game. You know these lines: “Where do you want to go to dinner? “I don’t care, you decide.” “Let’s go Italian.” “No, I don’t want to go there.” “Well, where would you like to go?” “It doesn’t matter, you decide.” And around and around we go.

Have a conversation. Don’t play the guessing game. No one can read your mind.

Leave your legacy.

Make a List

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

Have you ever written down the character qualities you want to pass on as a legacy to your children and grandchildren? I encourage you to make a list. Start small with five to ten values.

Yesterday, I shared one of my character qualities that I am trying to pass on … to have courage.

You are competing with an unending stream of information and distractions to pass on your values. If you wrap the character quality in a family story, and tell it often, it will be remembered. That’s why I keep pulling out the train set about this time every year. “Papa, I’m brave now!”

As many kids and adults make lists that often get checked twice this time of year, make your own list. Write it down and find the story that will pass your legacy on to the next generation.

A Printed Note

It Is Your LegacyLeave a comment

My mom wrote many notes to her grandchildren. They loved the card and the note, but they could never read it because the writing was in a flowing cursive style. It looked beautiful. Eventually, but the grandkids could never read it.

I told mom that we all loved the card and then I would ask if she would please print. This is not a cursive / print debate. I write notes in cursive, but it was for her grandchildren to enjoy the note themselves without translation.

As far as I know, I never remember a printed note. When our family sees that style of writing today, we often say it is a Mimi note. It is part of my mom’s legacy. She wrote beautiful cursive notes.

But, it is also part of how I am learning to communicate. Not only do I want an attractive style, but I also want to be understood.

Communicate to be understood, regardless of how simple you need to express your thoughts, even if you have to print. Your kids and grandkids will enjoy.