Category: relationships

Your Tone

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What is the tone of your life….your parenting…your relationships?

During this week of Good Friday and Easter I am reading in the Bible. I noticed that the tone of Jesus was different from the religious leaders.

Jesus washed his followers feet, even the one who betrayed him. The greatest one in the room was a servant.

The religious leaders were angry and loud. They were trying to hold on to power and control. They were afraid of losing their authority.

So often we can find ourselves trying to lead others, and even our family, from power and fear instead of service.

Your family knows your tone….and they will remember it the rest of their lives. Make sure it is a tone of serving them.

It is your legacy. Leave a good one.

A New Journey

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First child married. Second child married. Third child in college. Fourth child in High School.

Gained weight – lost weight quickly. Gained weight – lost weight over a long period of time. As you get older the fork outruns your sneakers.

Gained weight again and now back to the gym. I’m bored with my routine and I don’t want to do this. My friend said, “Why don’t you join me in a spin class?” I thought he was crazy. He suggested an early 6:00 am class. I took the bait. I’ll go for one week.

Humpty Dumpty can’t put your crushed cheerios back together again, but you can buy a new box. And a new journey began.

A lot happened over 22 years. Those stories will have to wait.

Have you ever started something new? Tell the story of starting a new season, a new chapter, a new adventure. If you don’t, no one will.

It’s your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is Part 2 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Mug or Cup?

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Do you want a cup or a mug?

That was the question I often heard when ‘company’ came to our home. That’s another name for friends or family. When company came over the carpet was vacuumed with those triangle designs and coffee was made.

We just put out our Christmas mugs, but I like to reach in the back of the cabinet for a cup. I think they hold the heat better, but there may be another reason I like them.

This morning I used the first cup of the season. As I held it for one last sip, there was no coffee left, but there were the few drops swishing around the bottom. That’s when I thought of my mom.

Growing up, every time I saw a coffee cup it had those few drops at the bottom and there was red lipstick slightly smeared on the edge of the cup. Mom’s trademark.

Your kids or grandkids know your habits and the marks you leave. Make good marks. Have good habits. Tell good stories. Do new things. Still pursue dreams.

You are leaving a legacy a few drops at a time.

Just Great

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Every story I share is from my family, except today.

Yesterday I asked a friend of mine, “How was your Thanksgiving?” (I knew he was out of town seeing his family.) He looks at one of his sons and says, “How was it?” The son said, “ It was great.” Though it appeared to be sarcastic.

I say, “No, really, how was Thanksgiving?”

My friend says, “My wife cried the whole time, my mom cried the whole time, my father threw up on his plate at Thanksgiving, my car window would not roll up so we took the smaller car with 5 people packed in ….. (plus more personal things)…. our Thanksgiving was great….just great.” And the son says again, “yea, great… it was just great.”

Some things are really hard, but they are part of our story and we get to tell them to the next generation.”

Keep telling stories.

Leave your legacy one great story at a time.

Renew a Relationship

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It is never too late to renew a relationship with your parents.

You will have to take the initiative. Tell a fond memory, ask for forgiveness, tell them you forgive them, but most of all make the effort to connect.

Telling a story will carry the truth, especially the hard truth, that you want to say.

Holding a clinched fist, and the tension it brings, will begin to be released when you make the effort to connect.

Free yourself and tell a new story.

Leaving a legacy for the next generation.

Two Packs

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How do you help others know the healthy changes that your parents have made over the years?

I was visiting some relatives and asked them what they remembered about my mom. They remembered that she smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. I informed them that my mom had given up smoking 35 years ago and that her lungs were clear.

Here’s the point. Unless I told a new story, they would still think she was an active smoker. I had to take the initiative in telling a new story about my mom. Her legacy included making changes in her life for the good.

Helping our parents leave their legacy one story at a time.

One Blade of Grass at a Time

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Azaleas and dogwoods graced the landscape of my childhood homes. In the spring time the colors were breathtaking.

One of my regular chores as a teenager was weeding the flower beds. I learned how to get the roots out and always felt pride when the job was done.

When I became a homeowner I tried to keep up the tradition. And …like my mom … I have made our kids take their turn with the lawnmower and edger.

When one of my sons moved into his first home, one of the first things he bought was a lawnmower. “Dad, I just love the smell of fresh cut grass.”

Leaving a legacy for the next generation … one blade of grass at a time.

Pecans

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When I eat roasted pecans, lightly coated in butter and salt, I think of my mom.

During the holidays she would make them for me. I make them now and I think of mom.

My kids and grandkids think the pecans are the best thing they have ever eaten. And then I tell them how mom made them.

Leaving a legacy … one pecan at a time.

Sports and Conversation

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There is great value in kids playing sports. There are life lessons regarding preparation, practicing, perseverance, winning and losing.

But there is something else. Sports are an opportunity to connect with your child. You get to be part of their adventure.

Conversations in the car, going to a game and coming home from a game, are your chance for conversation, storytelling and encouragement.

Over time they will remember your words of encouragement, but they will definitely remember that you were there….. and had a chocolate shake on the way home.

You are always Interviewing

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‘You are always interviewing’ and ‘Don’t burn any bridges’ have been a few sayings I would speak to my kids when they were younger.

Working hard and building relationships are character qualities for a healthy life. Speak these truths into your children, live them out in your life and tell your personal stories.

Then one day you will hear, “Hey dad, didn’t you always say……”

Speak truth, live it out and leave your legacy.