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Persist

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Persistence, perseverance and endurance are key character qualities to model. As you tell stories of when you endured difficult circumstances, also include stories that may not be so serious. Here’s one of mine.

I learned a lot about persistence the day I shot my future son-in-law.

Fishing is not the only thing we do at my uncle’s farm. Many hours have been spent on the back porch reading, napping and “visiting”. From the porch you can see both ponds, two old country barns, shade trees and a clothesline hooked between two posts.


One day our family gathered on the screened porch when suddenly we became aware of an unidentifiable movement. I’m not sure who saw it first, but a long snake had slithered through the azaleas and it’s head reared up and pressed his face up against the screen. It was eye level with the occupants on the love seat. You can only imagine the hysteria that took place. We found high ground quickly standing on the furniture. We were screaming even though a steel screen protected us.


Most logic had evaporated from the educated brain pool on the porch, so I “brave the wild” with the only weapon that I could find… my handy dandy, low-powered BB gun. It was about time to graduate it from shooting cans off the fence post. With a carton of BBs in hand, I loaded twenty BBs and commenced firing… this was it…time to save the family.


The snake had wound its way through the thick azaleas so there was no way for me to determine my effectiveness or to see the entire snake. Load and shoot. Only half of the shots were getting anywhere near the snake’s head. As I reloaded and continued firing, those on the porch began screaming and dancing uncontrollably. Then I heard, “Dad! Stop! You just shot (name withheld – a future son-in-law)”. Apparently a couple of shots had hit the brick wall behind the azaleas and ricocheted through the screen hitting him in the calf. A complete circus of craziness echoed through the country.

I repositioned my aim away from my son-in-law and continued the assault. It took endless rounds before the feat was accomplished. Dragging the snake out with a rake revealed that he was over 6 feet.

The force of the BB was not strong enough to penetrate the skin, but it was strong enough to give the snake a bad headache. Small actions, done consistently, will be productive over time.

All participants survived and now live to tell the story of the day I shot one of my son-in-laws, instead of my story of persistence.

It is your life. It is your story. It is your legacy.

Persist.

It Is Your Legacy – Write It

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You are going to leave a legacy. Intentionally telling your stories will build and guide it.

I don’t know if this is a true quote. It is probably adapted. Someone once quoted Winston Churchill as saying, “History will be kind to me, because I intend to write it.” There is a key principle. Whoever writes history controls the discussion.

We are not writing history, but we are gathering memorable events, people and happenings that the entire family knows. We are talking about everyday life. We are building our legacy.

Ask your kids to name one or two of the funniest, biggest, most dramatic, craziest etc. things that you have experienced as a family. Find a noble theme that describes what happened like courage or persistence. Or find a weird slogan that brings back the laughter, “don’t give grandma prunes for Thanksgiving dinner.” Then tell it often. They will remember.

It is your legacy and you intend to write it.

Let it Go

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Not all sentimental possessions make good stories.

My family had a lawnmower that dated back to the 1940s. It was a push mower and required physical strength to turn the blades. I remember pushing it 50 years ago. It was terrible.

Yet, I kept it. It was sentimental but not practical. One of my kids wanted to use it where they lived. It did not work well and it was not fixable. When asked if I still wanted it I said, “let it go.” There was not a story attached to the mower.

In leaving a legacy, the goal is not a sentimental journey, but a compelling story that encourages the next generation to live today.

A few boxes hold my sentimental stuff and my kids usually politely yawn. I like that.

It is your legacy. Give your kids compelling stories.

Suffering

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The bigger your adventure the more hardship and suffering you will face. There is always a cost.

After completing The Great Floridian Triathlon the muscles in my legs were in knots and my feet were in shock. In preparing for the marathon I did not train by walking. Thus, my feet were soft from only swimming and biking. I paid for it.

When my wife and I arrived at the hotel I collapsed on the bed. She removed my shoes and over the next 45 minutes used a warm wash cloth to remove my blood soaked socks that had embedded in my feet. It was bad. I hobbled for days.

Yet, it was worth it. I left a new story in the legacy that I am leaving to my family – Finish Well!

Pursuing anything – an adventure, a relationship or a new career will include hardship and suffering. You will probably not physically bleed, but you will pay a price.

It is your legacy.

Tell your story and include the bloody socks. They will never forget what you went through in pursuing your dream.

Finish Well

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I woke up on October 20th, in Clermont, Florida ready for the day. I ate breakfast, shaved and brushed my teeth, and then out of nowhere I became emotional. I couldn’t believe I actually had an opportunity to pursue this dream. I had also been reflecting.

When my father was 54 years old, he died of cancer and I remembered the hands of those who wanted to simply touch his casket at the funeral. Now, at 54, my wife, two daughters and their husbands, and my two sons are about to watch me live to the fullest: their hands and voices cheering me on to completion. When you add the fact that just two years earlier I had a cancerous prostate removed, I was about to embark on a significant achievement for my family and me.

One of my goals as a father has been to influence the lives of my children so that they will have the greatest success. I was flooded with emotion as I realized that I was about to give each of them a lasting memory of what it means to finish well. This was going to be a great day … or two.

My gear was prepared for transition. My wetsuit was on. Although in comparison to the others, my bike looked like an uninvited guest at a black tie event, but it didn’t matter. I was at the party, and it was time to dance. I’ve got this!

The swim started, and I am already in big trouble. Within the first five minutes all my confidence waned as a 20 mph head wind made the lake rough for the swim. I also did not plan on the Adrenalin rush. My heart raced. Before I could reach the first buoy I flipped on my back to catch my breath and slow my heart. Suddenly, I see someone on a surf board come over and say, “Hey sir, are you ok?” For a brief moment I wondered if they would have to pull me out of the water. If that happened, I’d be back home in South Florida before lunch and I would never know if I had what it took to finish.

I finally calmed down as I remembered the song, “Be Still and Know That I Am God”. Just stroke and breathe…stroke and breathe. Making headway, but constantly off course, I finished the first lap in 55 minutes, but I was behind my self-imposed schedule. At the turnaround one of my son-in-laws said I should get the award for walking the furthest into the water before I started the second lap.

I felt calmer this time around. As I made the final turn to head back to shore, the waves really started rocking, the sun came out from under the clouds, and I became seasick (as in treading water and vomiting). I didn’t know that was even possible while you swam! If it weren’t for the help of wearing a wetsuit I would still be swimming. One hour and fifty-five minutes. I finished part one. I was still in the race and I was exhausted. I’ve got this.

As I changed into my bike gear, I found some comfort in the changing area.  There were six other men in transition.  I’m not last… yet. The bike portion began well.  I was hydrating and eating the planned food and the aide stations were well stocked with friendly volunteers.  The strategy worked and the bike performed well.  Except for a brief moment when my chain got stuck, everything went smoothly.  My shoes released easily from the pedals.  I still walked up that big hill, yet I saved a lot of energy.  No flats. A great ride, even though each lap took longer than the last.  I even received encouragement from an unexpected source.  As the leaders passed me on the second lap they each told me to keep working hard, I will make it.

After I finished lap two, 75 miles now completed, I began riding the final 38 miles. This was further than I have ever ridden. I was in the final frontier. When I finally would make it to the top of a hill, I had just enough energy to hang on downhill in low gear so I could grind out another hill. There were numerous times when my legs were on the verge of cramping, “Pain is just weakness leaving the body” resounded in my mind. The bike finish cut-off time was 6:30 p.m. and I was in at 5:57 p.m. Time to spare.

As I came into the bike finish, in front of family and many onlookers, I released my left shoe from the pedal with no problem, but the shoe stuck in the rear spokes and before I could plan an escape I was down. My family was screaming, onlookers gasped and I felt like a fool. I got up quickly with nothing bruised but my ego, and one hundred feet later I crossed the bike finish line. I had trained well and I was on target. All I have to do is walk 26.2 miles. No problem! I’ve got this now!

My walk started while it was still daylight. I was focused and determined, and I began with a surprisingly fast walking pace. Other runners were still on the course so at least I had company. The course was three laps on a very wide walking trail, with about a 3/4 mile steep hill per lap. A large part of the course ran next to Lake Minneola and was lined with antique style streetlights. My first lap took 2 hours and 4 minutes, a decent pace. I was on target. I mostly walked with the occasional trot. I felt confident as I approached the second lap.

After about a mile, I realized my legs and feet were not happy. My quadriceps were in knots and they were on the verge of cramping. My feet were bruised and blisters had developed over half of both feet. I was in big trouble. After a few more miles the trotting stopped, and all I have left is a much slower paced walk. It was after 11:00 p.m. when I started lap three. Nine miles to go. Keep standing. Walk forward. Don’t stop. On the last lap there are only a few of us left. Some can still trot and they pass me. A few call it a night and abandon the last lap. They don’t finish. The men of my family joined me. There will be no competive advantage for me; I’m at the end of the line. They simply provided encouragement and safety on an isolated journey.

The aide stations had been unmanned for the last hour. It’s just me and Peter who passes me early and Henry who passes me late. The officials from Sommer Sports sent a golf cart out to determine if we truly are the last participants. They told me they would be waiting. I’m close.

There was no short run of victory through the finish line, only a slow, deliberate and measured walk. The grass was unsteady under my feet. And just like the first place finisher, the finish line banner was stretched out and waited for me. Cheers, cameras, smiles and hugs poured in from my family, and the 5 officials who remained. No one else was there. Sommer Sports gave me a GFT Finisher T-Shirt and a medal, “Stronger than Iron”. I had finished.

After 18 hours and 46 minutes and 10 seconds at 2:16:10 a.m. on October 21, 2012, the day after I began, I realized a dream. I had completed an Ultra Distance Triathlon (140.6 total miles). I finished!

I have attended sporting events for all four of our children and now our grandchildren. The goal has always been to finish strong and to finish well, but no matter what….finish. Perseverance is a character quality everyone should have.

Don’t just tell your kids to persevere, live a story that requires perseverance. They will never forget.

It is your legacy. Finish!

Keith Albert # 7 2012 Great Floridian Triathlon

Finisher 18:46:10

I’m in Big Trouble

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Do you ever have setbacks? I’m not talking about a bump in the road. I’m talking about your breath is knocked out of you, and your stomach tightens and all you think is I have wasted so much time pursuing something that will not work.

I thought my attempt at the race was over. Here’s what happened.

Two weekends prior to the race I made another smart decision. I went to the actual race site in Clermont to ride the bike course. It was a 38.6 mile loop that had a slight variation after the first lap. I had decided I would do two laps, about 75 miles, which would be the longest ride of my life. I was loaded with Gatorade, water, Gu (energy food), a few other snacks, and off I went. I figured it would take 5 hours.

It took 6 1/2 hours!

At mile 22 I had to walk a big hill and my shoes would not release from the pedal clips. I fell, my chain came off, my cyclometer (measures speed and distance) stopped working, and a semi almost made me into a hood ornament. Plus, I had road rash. At the top of one hill, after straining so hard to time a red light, both of my legs and my feet cramped so badly that I had to hang onto a guardrail, feet still clipped in, so I wouldn’t crash down the hill. I am sure I was an interesting sight for the school children on the bus waiting at the light; a 6’1″, 198 lb man, with an ill-fitting helmet, hanging onto a guardrail, with a bike dangling beneath him.

It took five minutes for my legs to relax as I eventually pulled my feet out of the shoes. After ten minutes, I finally resumed the journey only to get a flat as I passed through the light.

With only a few miles to go, I decided to ride in to the finish. I didn’t care! It wasn’t my bike! As I descended another hill I discovered that you can’t steer a front flat tire very well and I was picking up speed. Since the front tire was flat, the breaks no longer aligned with the rim of the tire. Therefore, no breaks on the front and the back brakes weren’t slowing me down. All I can say is, “God’ s grace is sufficient”.

75 miles… 6 1/2 hours… I was a disaster. I was in big trouble!

I finally made it back to the car. The only thing on my mind was that I am in big trouble. There’s no way I’ll finish the race.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced being in a hopeless situation.

My friend fixed the bike and even improved the gears. My tribe encouraged me to keep going and I bought another cyclometer.

It took a few days to clear my head and come to this conclusion … If I am going to fail, I am going to fail trying. This was my shot!

Your kids will love to hear when you were crushed and either almost failed or failed. They will see that you pursued your dream.

I didn’t know if I would finish the race, but I was going to find out! We all were going to find out.

It is your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is part 7 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

A Crazy Plan

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Your kids and grandkids love the details of how you pursue your dreams and adventures, even if they are crazy.

March 2012 – If I could swim 2.4 miles without drowning in open water, and if I could ride a bike 112 miles, then surely I can walk 26.2 miles to finish. That’s all I want to do is simply finish and get the t-shirt.

After telling my wife, the first thing I did was to go to the community pool. If I can’t swim, then the dream is crushed again, but it’s worth a try. Drowning is not an option. I researched swim training. I’m slow – real slow. But, I make progress.

The biggest decision was which triathlon to attempt. I settled on a race called the The Great Floridian in Clermont, Florida. It was only a few hours away from home, but most importantly, the results from the previous years included the times and names of those who finished after the ending time of 1:00 a.m. This meant that if I didn’t finish by the race’s official cut off time, they would still “keep the lights on”. This proved to be my best decision.

The Great Floridian – October 2012 – Paid the Registration. Let’s go!

Tell the details of your big adventure. Let your kids know how you planned or researched something that was important to you. The details make the story come alive.

Pay the registration.

It is your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is Part 4 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Welcome to Spin Class

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February 2012

I was instructed on spin bike basics, the music cranked up, we stretched, we pedaled and by the time the class was over, I thought I was going to die! I was dripping with sweat and my water bottle was long depleted yet, I was energized. Sitting, standing, climbing, tension on then off the wheel, heart rate up, heart rate down (sort of) was the routine.

The instructor would call out, “Mind, body, bike!” and “Pain is weakness leaving the body!” The clarity and brevity in his words, seasoned with encouragement and challenge, allowed the focus of the class to be on one’s own personal development. He would say, “This is your workout.”

I came back to the next spin class and then the next. Amazingly, my knees had no pain and my legs felt like they were stronger. I’m loving spin class!

One day the class was working hard and the instructor tells a motivational story of how he completed the Ironman in Hawaii. What? It’s been 22 years since I thought of that race, but for the remainder of the class it was all I thought about. The Ironman.

I go home. It’s March. I have a crazy idea. If I can swim, then bike, I’ll just walk the rest of the way.

Some dreams never die they are just delayed.

Give your children and grandchildren a window into one of your adventures. They want a piece of your life. They want to know what you were thinking and how you are shaped. They want to know the wins and the losses. And usually, the times you crashed and everything went wrong are the stories and the lessons that are most remembered.

Your legacy matters. Tell your stories.

(This is Part 3 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Practice Your Stories

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Practice telling your stories. If you want to tell a story that people remember…..practice.

When I speak to others there is a general pathway that my stories take. I tell the basic facts or thought, but afterwards, I usually say to myself….”you could have told that story better”.

Last week I practiced a story. Instead of listening to a podcast or music, I repeated a story out loud while driving to the office. The key words were changed, an appropriate pause was included, and the timing was adjusted.

I gave a brief report in front of 75 people. I began with a family celebration that included one picture. I then said, “What could be better …. (Pause) … completing your open health enrollment and performance review by Friday.” Everyone laughed….then a few more laughed once they understood the line. Then I said slowly, “With open enrollment …… you keep your health benefits ….. and with performance reviews you keep ……. (Most said out loud- your job, but I continued)… the process going to help your supervisor complete their part of the review.”

Everyone laughed hard and the point was made.

I found out that one of the major staff Christmas parties replayed my brief comments (2 minutes).

Why was it effective? I practiced …. I spoke clearly and simply …. I also had an appropriate pause.

Leave your legacy one practice story at a time.