Category: Your Parents Legacy

Write It Down

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It is your life. It is your story. It is your legacy. Write it down.

Not everyone likes to write or writes well. Yet, when a story is written down, there is a lingering power of influence.

Either write your stories or have someone else write them. I have family photos, WWII photos and a few stories shared over the years from my family regarding my dad. However, the stories written by others provide the most lasting memories of the few short years I spent with him.

The month my dad died the company he worked for printed a story in their monthly newsletter. The article described his struggle with cancer while still working a full day and serving civic and charitable causes.

When he was asked why he kept so busy … he said, “ …. helping others, keeps me alive.”

I have forgotten most words spoken about my dad, but at least once a year I look at a folded newsletter in my sock drawer. It reminds me of his life of service.

His life, his story, his legacy has become my life of service and my story and now my legacy…..because it was written down.

Write it down.

Let it Go

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Not all sentimental possessions make good stories.

My family had a lawnmower that dated back to the 1940s. It was a push mower and required physical strength to turn the blades. I remember pushing it 50 years ago. It was terrible.

Yet, I kept it. It was sentimental but not practical. One of my kids wanted to use it where they lived. It did not work well and it was not fixable. When asked if I still wanted it I said, “let it go.” There was not a story attached to the mower.

In leaving a legacy, the goal is not a sentimental journey, but a compelling story that encourages the next generation to live today.

A few boxes hold my sentimental stuff and my kids usually politely yawn. I like that.

It is your legacy. Give your kids compelling stories.

I’m in Big Trouble

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Do you ever have setbacks? I’m not talking about a bump in the road. I’m talking about your breath is knocked out of you, and your stomach tightens and all you think is I have wasted so much time pursuing something that will not work.

I thought my attempt at the race was over. Here’s what happened.

Two weekends prior to the race I made another smart decision. I went to the actual race site in Clermont to ride the bike course. It was a 38.6 mile loop that had a slight variation after the first lap. I had decided I would do two laps, about 75 miles, which would be the longest ride of my life. I was loaded with Gatorade, water, Gu (energy food), a few other snacks, and off I went. I figured it would take 5 hours.

It took 6 1/2 hours!

At mile 22 I had to walk a big hill and my shoes would not release from the pedal clips. I fell, my chain came off, my cyclometer (measures speed and distance) stopped working, and a semi almost made me into a hood ornament. Plus, I had road rash. At the top of one hill, after straining so hard to time a red light, both of my legs and my feet cramped so badly that I had to hang onto a guardrail, feet still clipped in, so I wouldn’t crash down the hill. I am sure I was an interesting sight for the school children on the bus waiting at the light; a 6’1″, 198 lb man, with an ill-fitting helmet, hanging onto a guardrail, with a bike dangling beneath him.

It took five minutes for my legs to relax as I eventually pulled my feet out of the shoes. After ten minutes, I finally resumed the journey only to get a flat as I passed through the light.

With only a few miles to go, I decided to ride in to the finish. I didn’t care! It wasn’t my bike! As I descended another hill I discovered that you can’t steer a front flat tire very well and I was picking up speed. Since the front tire was flat, the breaks no longer aligned with the rim of the tire. Therefore, no breaks on the front and the back brakes weren’t slowing me down. All I can say is, “God’ s grace is sufficient”.

75 miles… 6 1/2 hours… I was a disaster. I was in big trouble!

I finally made it back to the car. The only thing on my mind was that I am in big trouble. There’s no way I’ll finish the race.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced being in a hopeless situation.

My friend fixed the bike and even improved the gears. My tribe encouraged me to keep going and I bought another cyclometer.

It took a few days to clear my head and come to this conclusion … If I am going to fail, I am going to fail trying. This was my shot!

Your kids will love to hear when you were crushed and either almost failed or failed. They will see that you pursued your dream.

I didn’t know if I would finish the race, but I was going to find out! We all were going to find out.

It is your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is part 7 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

A New Journey

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First child married. Second child married. Third child in college. Fourth child in High School.

Gained weight – lost weight quickly. Gained weight – lost weight over a long period of time. As you get older the fork outruns your sneakers.

Gained weight again and now back to the gym. I’m bored with my routine and I don’t want to do this. My friend said, “Why don’t you join me in a spin class?” I thought he was crazy. He suggested an early 6:00 am class. I took the bait. I’ll go for one week.

Humpty Dumpty can’t put your crushed cheerios back together again, but you can buy a new box. And a new journey began.

A lot happened over 22 years. Those stories will have to wait.

Have you ever started something new? Tell the story of starting a new season, a new chapter, a new adventure. If you don’t, no one will.

It’s your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is Part 2 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Dreams Crushed

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The next few posts tell the story of attempting and endurance triathlon.

In 1989 I watched the Ironman World Championship on television. I had never heard of the race. It was spell-bounding. Just watching the average man and woman competing in a race, fighting to just finish was compelling. Their stories of inspiration came in different sizes, ages and abilities. They were so dramatic that I was in tears cheering for them to make it to the finish line. And for those who just missed it, I ached. Winners – who cares, I want to see who finished the race. When they crossed the finish line, I feel like I crossed the line with them.

An Ironman is a triathlon that consists of a 2.4 mile swim, followed by a 112 mile bike ride, followed by a 26.2 mile run (a marathon). 140.6 miles. The final cut off time is usually 17 hours later.

I was inspired! This was the beginning of my attempt to compete in an Ironman. I signed up for shorter sprint triathlons and had a plan to progress. And then as many of you have experienced, life gets in the way of our dreams.

Two painful knees stopped the running and then child number three and four came along and changed my priorities. The dream vanished ….crushed like cheerios in a minivan.

And then it was over ….

Tell the stories of dreams that are crushed. There is always more to the story. It’s your legacy.

Practice Your Stories

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Practice telling your stories. If you want to tell a story that people remember…..practice.

When I speak to others there is a general pathway that my stories take. I tell the basic facts or thought, but afterwards, I usually say to myself….”you could have told that story better”.

Last week I practiced a story. Instead of listening to a podcast or music, I repeated a story out loud while driving to the office. The key words were changed, an appropriate pause was included, and the timing was adjusted.

I gave a brief report in front of 75 people. I began with a family celebration that included one picture. I then said, “What could be better …. (Pause) … completing your open health enrollment and performance review by Friday.” Everyone laughed….then a few more laughed once they understood the line. Then I said slowly, “With open enrollment …… you keep your health benefits ….. and with performance reviews you keep ……. (Most said out loud- your job, but I continued)… the process going to help your supervisor complete their part of the review.”

Everyone laughed hard and the point was made.

I found out that one of the major staff Christmas parties replayed my brief comments (2 minutes).

Why was it effective? I practiced …. I spoke clearly and simply …. I also had an appropriate pause.

Leave your legacy one practice story at a time.

Mug or Cup?

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Do you want a cup or a mug?

That was the question I often heard when ‘company’ came to our home. That’s another name for friends or family. When company came over the carpet was vacuumed with those triangle designs and coffee was made.

We just put out our Christmas mugs, but I like to reach in the back of the cabinet for a cup. I think they hold the heat better, but there may be another reason I like them.

This morning I used the first cup of the season. As I held it for one last sip, there was no coffee left, but there were the few drops swishing around the bottom. That’s when I thought of my mom.

Growing up, every time I saw a coffee cup it had those few drops at the bottom and there was red lipstick slightly smeared on the edge of the cup. Mom’s trademark.

Your kids or grandkids know your habits and the marks you leave. Make good marks. Have good habits. Tell good stories. Do new things. Still pursue dreams.

You are leaving a legacy a few drops at a time.

Just Great

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Every story I share is from my family, except today.

Yesterday I asked a friend of mine, “How was your Thanksgiving?” (I knew he was out of town seeing his family.) He looks at one of his sons and says, “How was it?” The son said, “ It was great.” Though it appeared to be sarcastic.

I say, “No, really, how was Thanksgiving?”

My friend says, “My wife cried the whole time, my mom cried the whole time, my father threw up on his plate at Thanksgiving, my car window would not roll up so we took the smaller car with 5 people packed in ….. (plus more personal things)…. our Thanksgiving was great….just great.” And the son says again, “yea, great… it was just great.”

Some things are really hard, but they are part of our story and we get to tell them to the next generation.”

Keep telling stories.

Leave your legacy one great story at a time.

Celebrate

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Everyone likes to be fussed over. Everyone likes to be celebrated.

We have a family milestone today and three generations will gather to celebrate. We are making this a big deal.

The event and celebration will not cost anything, except for a quick meal afterwards. But the biggest cost will be our presence and enthusiastic cheering. Each of our family sees this as a priority.

Our family tries to celebrate the “wins” and milestones of each other.

Leaving our legacy one celebration at a time.