It is never too late to renew a relationship with your parents.
You will have to take the initiative. Tell a fond memory, ask for forgiveness, tell them you forgive them, but most of all make the effort to connect.
Telling a story will carry the truth, especially the hard truth, that you want to say.
Holding a clinched fist, and the tension it brings, will begin to be released when you make the effort to connect.
Free yourself and tell a new story.
Leaving a legacy for the next generation.
On most days I wear dark jeans and a button down shirt that is untucked. That’s my style. I’m not trying to dress young, but I am trying hard to not dress old.
At my desk at home, a converted closet, I have one picture with my mom and one picture with my dad.
In both of the pictures I am wearing a tie. I’ve never noticed that until today. The one with my dad was taken when I was 8 at a photo booth in an airport. Four small pictures on top of each other.
The photo with my mom was taken 20 years ago, outside by purple bougainvilleas.
You will probably have to get married or die for me to wear a tie, though anniversary dinners are included.
And each time I wear a tie I am reminded that I like it, not because it is right or wrong but it is part of our story.
“Honey, put on your redress, we’re going out tonight!”
Leaving your legacy for the next generation.
How do you help others know the healthy changes that your parents have made over the years?
I was visiting some relatives and asked them what they remembered about my mom. They remembered that she smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. I informed them that my mom had given up smoking 35 years ago and that her lungs were clear.
Here’s the point. Unless I told a new story, they would still think she was an active smoker. I had to take the initiative in telling a new story about my mom. Her legacy included making changes in her life for the good.
Helping our parents leave their legacy one story at a time.
Azaleas and dogwoods graced the landscape of my childhood homes. In the spring time the colors were breathtaking.
One of my regular chores as a teenager was weeding the flower beds. I learned how to get the roots out and always felt pride when the job was done.
When I became a homeowner I tried to keep up the tradition. And …like my mom … I have made our kids take their turn with the lawnmower and edger.
When one of my sons moved into his first home, one of the first things he bought was a lawnmower. “Dad, I just love the smell of fresh cut grass.”
Leaving a legacy for the next generation … one blade of grass at a time.
When I eat roasted pecans, lightly coated in butter and salt, I think of my mom.
During the holidays she would make them for me. I make them now and I think of mom.
My kids and grandkids think the pecans are the best thing they have ever eaten. And then I tell them how mom made them.
Leaving a legacy … one pecan at a time.
There is great value in kids playing sports. There are life lessons regarding preparation, practicing, perseverance, winning and losing.
But there is something else. Sports are an opportunity to connect with your child. You get to be part of their adventure.
Conversations in the car, going to a game and coming home from a game, are your chance for conversation, storytelling and encouragement.
Over time they will remember your words of encouragement, but they will definitely remember that you were there….. and had a chocolate shake on the way home.
‘You are always interviewing’ and ‘Don’t burn any bridges’ have been a few sayings I would speak to my kids when they were younger.
Working hard and building relationships are character qualities for a healthy life. Speak these truths into your children, live them out in your life and tell your personal stories.
Then one day you will hear, “Hey dad, didn’t you always say……”
Speak truth, live it out and leave your legacy.
More people are posting pictures of family and friends at Thanksgiving than their food. Why?
… Because our friends and family matter more than the same food everybody else is eating (in the USA) for the day.
The best part of the day for me is the conversations that happen after the meal. Words matter, especially over pecan and buttermilk pie.
Family stories leaving a legacy.
We have been designed for community and relationships. When we gather with friends and family, under the banner of thanksgiving, those bonds are strengthened.
I look forward to one of those gatherings today.
Being thankful is best served every day.
Be thankful today. Be thankful tomorrow. Be thankful the next day.
Leave a legacy of thankfulness.
Golf is part of my dad’s legacy. He worked for a large bank and received a golf club membership as one of the perks. It is a famous club that hosted a US Open.
On Saturday morning he would play with a group of bankers. When he came home he would teach me how to play golf in our yard. That is when I began to love the game and learn valuable life lessons that golf teaches. (Be truthful about your score is one of the lessons.)
Golf has been one of the activities I enjoy with my sons and sons-in-law. It is part of our family legacy. It has also become a connection with my dad, their grandfather, whom they have never met.
Last month, the golf club that my dad was part of became a client of one of my son and son-in-law’s golf business. “Hey dad, guess where one of our new client is located….grand dad’s club.”
I think it’s pretty cool. I also know that is part of me telling my parents (dad’s) legacy. It is part of our story.
Tell your stories.
Keith Albert 