‘You are always interviewing’ and ‘Don’t burn any bridges’ have been a few sayings I would speak to my kids when they were younger.
Working hard and building relationships are character qualities for a healthy life. Speak these truths into your children, live them out in your life and tell your personal stories.
Then one day you will hear, “Hey dad, didn’t you always say……”
Speak truth, live it out and leave your legacy.
More people are posting pictures of family and friends at Thanksgiving than their food. Why?
… Because our friends and family matter more than the same food everybody else is eating (in the USA) for the day.
The best part of the day for me is the conversations that happen after the meal. Words matter, especially over pecan and buttermilk pie.
Family stories leaving a legacy.
We have been designed for community and relationships. When we gather with friends and family, under the banner of thanksgiving, those bonds are strengthened.
I look forward to one of those gatherings today.
Being thankful is best served every day.
Be thankful today. Be thankful tomorrow. Be thankful the next day.
Leave a legacy of thankfulness.
Golf is part of my dad’s legacy. He worked for a large bank and received a golf club membership as one of the perks. It is a famous club that hosted a US Open.
On Saturday morning he would play with a group of bankers. When he came home he would teach me how to play golf in our yard. That is when I began to love the game and learn valuable life lessons that golf teaches. (Be truthful about your score is one of the lessons.)
Golf has been one of the activities I enjoy with my sons and sons-in-law. It is part of our family legacy. It has also become a connection with my dad, their grandfather, whom they have never met.
Last month, the golf club that my dad was part of became a client of one of my son and son-in-law’s golf business. “Hey dad, guess where one of our new client is located….grand dad’s club.”
I think it’s pretty cool. I also know that is part of me telling my parents (dad’s) legacy. It is part of our story.
Tell your stories.
You have the power to encourage someone today.
Take a genuine interest in others. Talk less about yourself. Ask them what they are working on, or investing their time in, or what they do during their time off.
Don’t respond with what you are doing. Simply take a genuine interest in their story. They will be encouraged.
Leave a legacy of encouragement.
One of the fun stories my mom told was about being a switchboard operator.
In the late 1930’s my mom was one of many switchboard operators. If you placed a phone call back then your phone number would light up a switchboard. You would tell the operator what number you wanted and then the operator would plug your line into the line/number you requested. “What number please?”
On occasion, when a boyfriend of one of the switchboard operators called another girl, the call would be mysteriously dropped or routed to a wrong number. My mom was never caught, but she helped keep a few boyfriends in line.
There’s no moral to this story. It is simply part of her story. Though, we all like to listen in.
Have you ever written down the character qualities you want to pass on as a legacy to your children and grandchildren? I encourage you to make a list. Start small with five to ten values.
Yesterday, I shared one of my character qualities that I am trying to pass on … to have courage.
You are competing with an unending stream of information and distractions to pass on your values. If you wrap the character quality in a family story, and tell it often, it will be remembered. That’s why I keep pulling out the train set about this time every year. “Papa, I’m brave now!”
As many kids and adults make lists that often get checked twice this time of year, make your own list. Write it down and find the story that will pass your legacy on to the next generation.
My dad was a veteran of the US Army. I never remember him talking about WWII, but when I helped my mom downsize I found boxes of photographs of his life in the war.
He was a master sergeant and in charge of the logistics for his group. They traveled through Europe tracking and shooting down buzz bombs. He photographed every city and country they were stationed.
There were newspaper clippings from his home town in the boxes. My dad was one of four brothers. One of the articles stated that all four son’s of his mom, my grandmother, were serving overseas. The article spoke of my grandmother’s sacrifice, and it also mentioned that all of her daughter-in-laws lived with her while their husbands served.
60 years later my oldest daughter found the house they lived in and took pictures of it. It was for sale and there was a property description attached to a sign in the yard. It also had a red door. Imagine the conversations of a mom waiting for her sons and wives waiting for their husbands that took place behind that red door.
That is part of my legacy. The sacrifices of war for those who waited behind. All four sons returned safely back home. Today we thank and honor our veterans who served our country. Tell their stories of sacrifice.
My mom wrote many notes to her grandchildren. They loved the card and the note, but they could never read it because the writing was in a flowing cursive style. It looked beautiful. Eventually, but the grandkids could never read it.
I told mom that we all loved the card and then I would ask if she would please print. This is not a cursive / print debate. I write notes in cursive, but it was for her grandchildren to enjoy the note themselves without translation.
As far as I know, I never remember a printed note. When our family sees that style of writing today, we often say it is a Mimi note. It is part of my mom’s legacy. She wrote beautiful cursive notes.
But, it is also part of how I am learning to communicate. Not only do I want an attractive style, but I also want to be understood.
Communicate to be understood, regardless of how simple you need to express your thoughts, even if you have to print. Your kids and grandkids will enjoy.
Your children may have different experiences with their grandparents. Some of the experiences may be fun and some more difficult.
My mom is known by my children in different ways. My older girls remember her playing with bows, bracelets and necklaces. Mom was younger and they remember her in more playful ways.
My youngest son remembers my mom as the grandmother with dementia who shared a bathroom with him. Let’s just say those stories are best kept private.
But it doesn’t matter. All of these stories can be crafted into a realistic legacy that is passed along. Someone once said there is a time to laugh and a time to cry. That’s life.
Sometimes I have fun with my younger son by saying, “one day you will be old and standing “naked” in the doorway in front of your adult children. We all laugh and the burden is lessened because we share it together. Tell your stories.
Keith Albert 