Tag: stories

Don’t Compare Run Your Race

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Comparison is dangerous.

Last weekend I went to a triathlon event with multiple races. I watched. Some took all day and others were less than an hour.

As participants finished a short race I noticed … tall, short, stout, skinny, young, old, moms and dads, some striving hard and others just surviving. A few had artificial limbs, most didn’t know anybody except for a friend or family member.

They just ran their race and they finished. Each one had their reason for running. If they had tried to copy someone else they would have been miserable and failed.

With over 500 participants I’m sure a few were disappointed in their outcome, but most have started telling the story of a completed race.

I can image the Monday morning stories of big waves and oppressive heat and the challenges they faced … but they lived to tell the story.

Leave a good legacy … run your race.

Persist

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Persistence, perseverance and endurance are key character qualities to model. As you tell stories of when you endured difficult circumstances, also include stories that may not be so serious. Here’s one of mine.

I learned a lot about persistence the day I shot my future son-in-law.

Fishing is not the only thing we do at my uncle’s farm. Many hours have been spent on the back porch reading, napping and “visiting”. From the porch you can see both ponds, two old country barns, shade trees and a clothesline hooked between two posts.


One day our family gathered on the screened porch when suddenly we became aware of an unidentifiable movement. I’m not sure who saw it first, but a long snake had slithered through the azaleas and it’s head reared up and pressed his face up against the screen. It was eye level with the occupants on the love seat. You can only imagine the hysteria that took place. We found high ground quickly standing on the furniture. We were screaming even though a steel screen protected us.


Most logic had evaporated from the educated brain pool on the porch, so I “brave the wild” with the only weapon that I could find… my handy dandy, low-powered BB gun. It was about time to graduate it from shooting cans off the fence post. With a carton of BBs in hand, I loaded twenty BBs and commenced firing… this was it…time to save the family.


The snake had wound its way through the thick azaleas so there was no way for me to determine my effectiveness or to see the entire snake. Load and shoot. Only half of the shots were getting anywhere near the snake’s head. As I reloaded and continued firing, those on the porch began screaming and dancing uncontrollably. Then I heard, “Dad! Stop! You just shot (name withheld – a future son-in-law)”. Apparently a couple of shots had hit the brick wall behind the azaleas and ricocheted through the screen hitting him in the calf. A complete circus of craziness echoed through the country.

I repositioned my aim away from my son-in-law and continued the assault. It took endless rounds before the feat was accomplished. Dragging the snake out with a rake revealed that he was over 6 feet.

The force of the BB was not strong enough to penetrate the skin, but it was strong enough to give the snake a bad headache. Small actions, done consistently, will be productive over time.

All participants survived and now live to tell the story of the day I shot one of my son-in-laws, instead of my story of persistence.

It is your life. It is your story. It is your legacy.

Persist.

A Legacy of Pancakes

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Playing, joking and doing stupid tricks are all part of leaving a legacy.

Do you have fun with your kids or grandkids? Regardless of who you are or where you are from, your kids will remember the crazy things you do together. Smiling, laughing and sometimes breaking things create stories that will be told at dinner tables for years.

My wife and I will have some of the grandkids over tonight. Their only request is to make pancakes and flip them over our shoulders to a plate 10 feet away. Last time it was pure craziest. They talked about it for weeks.

If we keep this up, this will be part our our legacy. – Moma and Papa know how to have fun.

It is your legacy. Have some fun!

It Is Your Legacy – Write It

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You are going to leave a legacy. Intentionally telling your stories will build and guide it.

I don’t know if this is a true quote. It is probably adapted. Someone once quoted Winston Churchill as saying, “History will be kind to me, because I intend to write it.” There is a key principle. Whoever writes history controls the discussion.

We are not writing history, but we are gathering memorable events, people and happenings that the entire family knows. We are talking about everyday life. We are building our legacy.

Ask your kids to name one or two of the funniest, biggest, most dramatic, craziest etc. things that you have experienced as a family. Find a noble theme that describes what happened like courage or persistence. Or find a weird slogan that brings back the laughter, “don’t give grandma prunes for Thanksgiving dinner.” Then tell it often. They will remember.

It is your legacy and you intend to write it.

Let it Go

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Not all sentimental possessions make good stories.

My family had a lawnmower that dated back to the 1940s. It was a push mower and required physical strength to turn the blades. I remember pushing it 50 years ago. It was terrible.

Yet, I kept it. It was sentimental but not practical. One of my kids wanted to use it where they lived. It did not work well and it was not fixable. When asked if I still wanted it I said, “let it go.” There was not a story attached to the mower.

In leaving a legacy, the goal is not a sentimental journey, but a compelling story that encourages the next generation to live today.

A few boxes hold my sentimental stuff and my kids usually politely yawn. I like that.

It is your legacy. Give your kids compelling stories.

I’m in Big Trouble

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Do you ever have setbacks? I’m not talking about a bump in the road. I’m talking about your breath is knocked out of you, and your stomach tightens and all you think is I have wasted so much time pursuing something that will not work.

I thought my attempt at the race was over. Here’s what happened.

Two weekends prior to the race I made another smart decision. I went to the actual race site in Clermont to ride the bike course. It was a 38.6 mile loop that had a slight variation after the first lap. I had decided I would do two laps, about 75 miles, which would be the longest ride of my life. I was loaded with Gatorade, water, Gu (energy food), a few other snacks, and off I went. I figured it would take 5 hours.

It took 6 1/2 hours!

At mile 22 I had to walk a big hill and my shoes would not release from the pedal clips. I fell, my chain came off, my cyclometer (measures speed and distance) stopped working, and a semi almost made me into a hood ornament. Plus, I had road rash. At the top of one hill, after straining so hard to time a red light, both of my legs and my feet cramped so badly that I had to hang onto a guardrail, feet still clipped in, so I wouldn’t crash down the hill. I am sure I was an interesting sight for the school children on the bus waiting at the light; a 6’1″, 198 lb man, with an ill-fitting helmet, hanging onto a guardrail, with a bike dangling beneath him.

It took five minutes for my legs to relax as I eventually pulled my feet out of the shoes. After ten minutes, I finally resumed the journey only to get a flat as I passed through the light.

With only a few miles to go, I decided to ride in to the finish. I didn’t care! It wasn’t my bike! As I descended another hill I discovered that you can’t steer a front flat tire very well and I was picking up speed. Since the front tire was flat, the breaks no longer aligned with the rim of the tire. Therefore, no breaks on the front and the back brakes weren’t slowing me down. All I can say is, “God’ s grace is sufficient”.

75 miles… 6 1/2 hours… I was a disaster. I was in big trouble!

I finally made it back to the car. The only thing on my mind was that I am in big trouble. There’s no way I’ll finish the race.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all experienced being in a hopeless situation.

My friend fixed the bike and even improved the gears. My tribe encouraged me to keep going and I bought another cyclometer.

It took a few days to clear my head and come to this conclusion … If I am going to fail, I am going to fail trying. This was my shot!

Your kids will love to hear when you were crushed and either almost failed or failed. They will see that you pursued your dream.

I didn’t know if I would finish the race, but I was going to find out! We all were going to find out.

It is your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is part 7 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Who are your Guides?

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Who are your guides? You need one so that you can fulfill your dream. They are part of your legacy.

A friend, a spouse, a mentor, a book, a blog or videos are all part of being a guide. They instruct and encourage. They walk with us. They help pick us up when we stumble.

Tim, a friend of mine, let me borrow one of his bikes. He prepared an old style twelve-speed Olmo bike. The bike was painted and tuned up. I bought cycling shoes and some accessories. I am ready.

The first thing I noticed when I rode was the resistance and noise caused by the wind. It was loud compared to the quiet air-conditioned gym. Anyway, it was summer and now my weekend rides were outside.

I had several guides. The spin instructor, my friend, a book on triathlons and my wife’s encouragement. They provided everything I needed.

Sometimes we search out guides and sometimes the guide finds us. Regardless, you will need them. We need what they have experienced. We need the encouragement. And don’t forget to show your appreciation.

It is your legacy. When you tell your stories to the next generation, include your guides. You can’t do it with out them.

(This is part 6 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Your Plan Needs Action

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When you set out on an adventure you are leaving a legacy. It is your legacy. Don’t just talk about what you want to do. Do something. Your plan needs action. I was 54 years old and probably living a mid-life crisis. Regardless, I was going for something, even if I fail.

Preparation for the triathlon lasted 32 weeks. Laps and intervals at the community pool went from 400 meters (16 laps) to 4000 meters (160 laps). Often counting the laps was the hardest part. Toward the end of training I would be in the pool for two hours, twice a week. At least I was confident I could swim 2.4 miles without stopping. Surely, a swim around a lake would be the same as a pool. I’ve got this.

The first 12 weeks of training on the bike took place in spin class with a long ride on a stationary bike on the weekend. True cyclists kept saying, “You need to get outside,” and I replied, “Buy me a bike and I will.” Finally, I borrow a bike from a friend. By the end of training my weekend ride reaches 65 miles outside.

On a couple of weekends I combine the swim with a bike ride. I calculated my times to complete each phase and I think I can make it. Anyway, that’s all the time and energy I have to prepare. I’ll keep my heart rate in a good range. All I have to do is survive and finish… and say thank you for the t-shirt.

Let your kids know what you went through to pursue your dreams. Tell them of your preparation and actions and sacrifices.

It is your legacy. Tell it.

(This is part 5 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

Welcome to Spin Class

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February 2012

I was instructed on spin bike basics, the music cranked up, we stretched, we pedaled and by the time the class was over, I thought I was going to die! I was dripping with sweat and my water bottle was long depleted yet, I was energized. Sitting, standing, climbing, tension on then off the wheel, heart rate up, heart rate down (sort of) was the routine.

The instructor would call out, “Mind, body, bike!” and “Pain is weakness leaving the body!” The clarity and brevity in his words, seasoned with encouragement and challenge, allowed the focus of the class to be on one’s own personal development. He would say, “This is your workout.”

I came back to the next spin class and then the next. Amazingly, my knees had no pain and my legs felt like they were stronger. I’m loving spin class!

One day the class was working hard and the instructor tells a motivational story of how he completed the Ironman in Hawaii. What? It’s been 22 years since I thought of that race, but for the remainder of the class it was all I thought about. The Ironman.

I go home. It’s March. I have a crazy idea. If I can swim, then bike, I’ll just walk the rest of the way.

Some dreams never die they are just delayed.

Give your children and grandchildren a window into one of your adventures. They want a piece of your life. They want to know what you were thinking and how you are shaped. They want to know the wins and the losses. And usually, the times you crashed and everything went wrong are the stories and the lessons that are most remembered.

Your legacy matters. Tell your stories.

(This is Part 3 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

A New Journey

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First child married. Second child married. Third child in college. Fourth child in High School.

Gained weight – lost weight quickly. Gained weight – lost weight over a long period of time. As you get older the fork outruns your sneakers.

Gained weight again and now back to the gym. I’m bored with my routine and I don’t want to do this. My friend said, “Why don’t you join me in a spin class?” I thought he was crazy. He suggested an early 6:00 am class. I took the bait. I’ll go for one week.

Humpty Dumpty can’t put your crushed cheerios back together again, but you can buy a new box. And a new journey began.

A lot happened over 22 years. Those stories will have to wait.

Have you ever started something new? Tell the story of starting a new season, a new chapter, a new adventure. If you don’t, no one will.

It’s your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is Part 2 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)