Tag: Your Parents Legacy

Write It Down

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It is your life. It is your story. It is your legacy. Write it down.

Not everyone likes to write or writes well. Yet, when a story is written down, there is a lingering power of influence.

Either write your stories or have someone else write them. I have family photos, WWII photos and a few stories shared over the years from my family regarding my dad. However, the stories written by others provide the most lasting memories of the few short years I spent with him.

The month my dad died the company he worked for printed a story in their monthly newsletter. The article described his struggle with cancer while still working a full day and serving civic and charitable causes.

When he was asked why he kept so busy … he said, “ …. helping others, keeps me alive.”

I have forgotten most words spoken about my dad, but at least once a year I look at a folded newsletter in my sock drawer. It reminds me of his life of service.

His life, his story, his legacy has become my life of service and my story and now my legacy…..because it was written down.

Write it down.

Your Plan Needs Action

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When you set out on an adventure you are leaving a legacy. It is your legacy. Don’t just talk about what you want to do. Do something. Your plan needs action. I was 54 years old and probably living a mid-life crisis. Regardless, I was going for something, even if I fail.

Preparation for the triathlon lasted 32 weeks. Laps and intervals at the community pool went from 400 meters (16 laps) to 4000 meters (160 laps). Often counting the laps was the hardest part. Toward the end of training I would be in the pool for two hours, twice a week. At least I was confident I could swim 2.4 miles without stopping. Surely, a swim around a lake would be the same as a pool. I’ve got this.

The first 12 weeks of training on the bike took place in spin class with a long ride on a stationary bike on the weekend. True cyclists kept saying, “You need to get outside,” and I replied, “Buy me a bike and I will.” Finally, I borrow a bike from a friend. By the end of training my weekend ride reaches 65 miles outside.

On a couple of weekends I combine the swim with a bike ride. I calculated my times to complete each phase and I think I can make it. Anyway, that’s all the time and energy I have to prepare. I’ll keep my heart rate in a good range. All I have to do is survive and finish… and say thank you for the t-shirt.

Let your kids know what you went through to pursue your dreams. Tell them of your preparation and actions and sacrifices.

It is your legacy. Tell it.

(This is part 5 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

A Crazy Plan

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Your kids and grandkids love the details of how you pursue your dreams and adventures, even if they are crazy.

March 2012 – If I could swim 2.4 miles without drowning in open water, and if I could ride a bike 112 miles, then surely I can walk 26.2 miles to finish. That’s all I want to do is simply finish and get the t-shirt.

After telling my wife, the first thing I did was to go to the community pool. If I can’t swim, then the dream is crushed again, but it’s worth a try. Drowning is not an option. I researched swim training. I’m slow – real slow. But, I make progress.

The biggest decision was which triathlon to attempt. I settled on a race called the The Great Floridian in Clermont, Florida. It was only a few hours away from home, but most importantly, the results from the previous years included the times and names of those who finished after the ending time of 1:00 a.m. This meant that if I didn’t finish by the race’s official cut off time, they would still “keep the lights on”. This proved to be my best decision.

The Great Floridian – October 2012 – Paid the Registration. Let’s go!

Tell the details of your big adventure. Let your kids know how you planned or researched something that was important to you. The details make the story come alive.

Pay the registration.

It is your legacy. Tell the story.

(This is Part 4 of attempting an endurance triathlon.)

A New Story – Sail On

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Are you struggling to take a new direction in your life this year? Many are making plans for new habits. I am.

A few years ago I learned a valuable lesson in making changes at my sister-in-law’s wedding.

The wedding took place on New Year’s Eve in a small community on the Gulf of Mexico and the reception took place on the beach. Late in the evening we were circled around a bonfire celebrating not only the marriage, but also the new year. It was so much fun.

I turned away from the group and walked toward the shore. The water was calm, like glass, and moon beams reflected brightly. And in the sky … the stars were packed tightly burning brightly across the heavens.

That’s when I felt the urge to sail toward the horizon … straight into the moon. What an adventure that would be!

I had a decision to make. If I took sail, I would leave the comforting fires of the familiar to chase something new.

Sail On! … and leave the comfort of the familiar. Then tell your children and their children the stories of your adventure.

Leave a lasting legacy one story at a time.

Sail On!

Practice Your Stories

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Practice telling your stories. If you want to tell a story that people remember…..practice.

When I speak to others there is a general pathway that my stories take. I tell the basic facts or thought, but afterwards, I usually say to myself….”you could have told that story better”.

Last week I practiced a story. Instead of listening to a podcast or music, I repeated a story out loud while driving to the office. The key words were changed, an appropriate pause was included, and the timing was adjusted.

I gave a brief report in front of 75 people. I began with a family celebration that included one picture. I then said, “What could be better …. (Pause) … completing your open health enrollment and performance review by Friday.” Everyone laughed….then a few more laughed once they understood the line. Then I said slowly, “With open enrollment …… you keep your health benefits ….. and with performance reviews you keep ……. (Most said out loud- your job, but I continued)… the process going to help your supervisor complete their part of the review.”

Everyone laughed hard and the point was made.

I found out that one of the major staff Christmas parties replayed my brief comments (2 minutes).

Why was it effective? I practiced …. I spoke clearly and simply …. I also had an appropriate pause.

Leave your legacy one practice story at a time.

Mug or Cup?

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Do you want a cup or a mug?

That was the question I often heard when ‘company’ came to our home. That’s another name for friends or family. When company came over the carpet was vacuumed with those triangle designs and coffee was made.

We just put out our Christmas mugs, but I like to reach in the back of the cabinet for a cup. I think they hold the heat better, but there may be another reason I like them.

This morning I used the first cup of the season. As I held it for one last sip, there was no coffee left, but there were the few drops swishing around the bottom. That’s when I thought of my mom.

Growing up, every time I saw a coffee cup it had those few drops at the bottom and there was red lipstick slightly smeared on the edge of the cup. Mom’s trademark.

Your kids or grandkids know your habits and the marks you leave. Make good marks. Have good habits. Tell good stories. Do new things. Still pursue dreams.

You are leaving a legacy a few drops at a time.

Just Great

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Every story I share is from my family, except today.

Yesterday I asked a friend of mine, “How was your Thanksgiving?” (I knew he was out of town seeing his family.) He looks at one of his sons and says, “How was it?” The son said, “ It was great.” Though it appeared to be sarcastic.

I say, “No, really, how was Thanksgiving?”

My friend says, “My wife cried the whole time, my mom cried the whole time, my father threw up on his plate at Thanksgiving, my car window would not roll up so we took the smaller car with 5 people packed in ….. (plus more personal things)…. our Thanksgiving was great….just great.” And the son says again, “yea, great… it was just great.”

Some things are really hard, but they are part of our story and we get to tell them to the next generation.”

Keep telling stories.

Leave your legacy one great story at a time.

Celebrate

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Everyone likes to be fussed over. Everyone likes to be celebrated.

We have a family milestone today and three generations will gather to celebrate. We are making this a big deal.

The event and celebration will not cost anything, except for a quick meal afterwards. But the biggest cost will be our presence and enthusiastic cheering. Each of our family sees this as a priority.

Our family tries to celebrate the “wins” and milestones of each other.

Leaving our legacy one celebration at a time.

Renew a Relationship

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It is never too late to renew a relationship with your parents.

You will have to take the initiative. Tell a fond memory, ask for forgiveness, tell them you forgive them, but most of all make the effort to connect.

Telling a story will carry the truth, especially the hard truth, that you want to say.

Holding a clinched fist, and the tension it brings, will begin to be released when you make the effort to connect.

Free yourself and tell a new story.

Leaving a legacy for the next generation.